Is the "biological clock" real?

Movies, books, moms, aunts, they all talk about their ticking biological clock. I never really bought into it, until recently. I never wanted children as I grew up, never had the desire to find a man to settle down with and start a family. Now, I’m 25 and am quite close to the age where a female’s fertility begins to drop, and what I will call my biological clock (for lack of anything better) started ticking quite suddenly. I had a dream that I was pregnant, and then had a baby boy. When I awoke from this dream, it took me a moment to realize that I didn’t have a child, and this realization was immediately followed by such a heartbreaking sadness that I can’t even describe it. Since then, whenever I see a small child, I get that “Oh, I want a baby” thought. It really kind of makes me sick.

I had always thought of all of this talk of the biological clock as a female’s readily available excuse to get married and have children without doing anything of importance with their life (of course this is debatable, as many people will say that having children is the most important thing one can do with their life, but I disagree as that applies to myself without meaning any disrespect toward anyone else). I’ve always wanted more out of my life than the “American Dream” until recently. So is the biological clock just a psychological mind-fuck perpetuated by society’s expectations of the female, as I’ve always believed, or is there actually some truth to it? I’d appreciate a fellow female’s perspective on this.

Not a female, but like any other pan-cultural myth that has persisted throughout the ages, I’d be inclined to say there is a great deal of truth to it.

Right?

You can only keep saying, “X happens to everyone” for so long before either a) people call you on your bullshit and history does us the favor of forgetting you or b) ehhh, there is some truth to it.

No there is no real biological imperative to have a husband and kids before a specific time. Its just a social force/peer pressure. If you get pregnant I promise you all sorts of horror stories will come out of the mouths of the women around you, they are so glad to share these things with you because, pain likes company. If you announce a marriage, the women will tell you horror stories about that too.

You should think three or four times before getting pregnant after you turn 40, there is Down’s Syndrome to consider and other health factors for babies born to older women but thats not a clock especially now with the way medicine is advancing. It was 40 years back but not now. Take your time don’t fall for peer pressure, women just want you to go through the same pain they did. Don’t buy into it. I love my husband and son very much, my horror stories are more humorous than painful. I refused to listen to any stories or pressure. that is the best advice I can give you. Live your life as you,You want to, not by other people’s standards. If you feel a pressing need to nurture something, get a dog or cat first.

Okay, so I was bored.

Blurred, I have no scientific evidence to back me up on this but I am inclined to think it is more cultural than anything biological - just my opinion. You see “everyone else” around your age starting families and you wonder if you should be doing it too.

And if that particular path doesn’t appeal to you, and you are self-aware enough to know that, then more power to you. Do NOT let anyone else’s expectations direct that decision or you’ll regret it. I know many people who’ve elected never to have children and they lead very full lives, although I’m sure they have to deal with the usual questions (“when’re you two going to have kids?” :unamused: ). But they have a lot more freedom to indulge their own personal passions than they would if they had children.

Follow your own path, you know what’s best for you - trust that.

[size=85]PS to Tab - Aren’t your 5 weeks up yet?! Get back to work already! hehe[/size] :wink:

In a way, the myth would make evolutionary sense… for 2 reasons:

1.) Throughout human civilization, women who waited until age 30+ to have children probably didn’t pass on their genes (very often at all).
2.) Based on most birth statistics (corresponding with age of female birth-giver), as well as the life expectancy through the medieval ages (400-1400 AD.) and colonial times (referring to 1500-1750 AD. or so), it wouldn’t be much of an ‘issue’ for female fertility to drop at age 25.

Then again… let’s bring biological research into the picture, which carries some optimism on its back:

[b][i] Of women trying natural conception:

* At age 30, 75% will get pregnant within one year.
* At age 35, 66% will get pregnant.
* At age 40, 44% will get pregnant.

Within four years after trying to conceive naturally:

* 91% of 30-year-olds will be successful.
* 84% of 35-year-olds will.
* 64% of 40-year-olds will.

Of women who try in vitro fertilization:

* 30% will give birth at age 30.
* 24% will at age 35.
* 17% will at age 40.[/b][/i]

Source:
webmd.com/infertility-and-re … l-after-35

Of course, these are statistics acquired from female patients of fertility clinics, which means that their ‘biological clocks’, if you will, already had functional problems. This can only mean that, if your fertility is average or higher than average, you are safe at 25. However, even if your fertility isn’t so high, you are definitely safe for 15 years, unless of course, you experience an early menopause.

So, my suggestion is to find an intelligent, handsome, and rather successful male, do him, and have his child. Of course, you’d have to talk the idea over with him and not lie about birth control (“Of COURSE I took the pill”), and that is for obvious ethical and moral reasons. But I’m not sure what country you reside in, so I cannot really determine the probability of my suggestion happening (I’d have to know mainstream morality and relationship styles of the country in question).

It feels good to see another person like me in the sense that you’ve focused on real life goals. Good for you.

Kind Regards,
~Moral Jeff