I’m currently writing a historical/political satire about two states, side by side. One is libertarian, the other is a benevolent oligarchy in the style of Joseph II. The two used to be one state but various conflicts split it into two.
I want to include a joke whereby a orator is convincing an assembled crowd that oligarchy is the way forward for the state.
Of course the crowd are cheering for a system which will but maintain their status as mediocre, but this is of course precisely what crowds cheer all the time. Not at all unlike the fact that all a band on tour has to do is mention the name of the town they are in that ngiht and the crowd will cheer and congratulate themselves.
A small but perhaps somewhat helpful suggestion…perhaps if you cut in cheers after each statement. It would illustrate even more that they are behaving as controlled mindless bots.
Is there any way in which you could work a moose into it? Even the word moose is funny. I’m imagining one with a fedora and a cigar and am laughing even now.
Perhaps in context it’s better, but I can’t say I rolled all over the floor laughing…
Maybe instead of cheering, the crowd could shout [size=200]“Fuck-Off” [/size] - Completely unecessary swearing is always a good comedy stand-by I find.
Like it, like it - so we go with the swearing moose(s)…
Now for the complete British humour mix - we need a vicar, preferably with his trousers round his ankles, but (and this is important) for a completely non-sexual reason, a busty barmaid, and some bloke in a string vest to say “Betcha don’t get many of those to the pound…”
Three mooses wearing fedoras, sunglasses and smoking cigars, a busty barmaid,a vicar, an old bloke wearing a string vest, and two Californian surfers in Bermuda trunks and sandals are all gathered to hear the orator speak, YMCA by the Village People plays in the background.
Three Mooses: Fuck Off!
Cut to Barmaid telling vicar a joke.
Barmaid: And then the duck said, put it on my bill! Haha!
Cut to Old bloke ogling barmaid: Betcha don’t get many of those to the pound!
Methinks this is another one of those threads that was waiting to happen and I’ve managed to accidentally kick it off with a miswritten joke.
Okay, so the guy is on stage doing his bit about why democracy is decadent and makes us all mediocre when a Moose wearing a poncho and a deerstalker, smoking a cigar, with an apparently half-naked vicar strapped to him, parachutes down onto the stage shouting
“FUCK OFF!”
I think it still needs another element. An accent perhaps, or possibly a character with a disability.
James
The delivery of the joke as I wrote it was just a sketch, the question is whether or not a crowd being whipped in a frenzy at the prospect of their own enslavement can be funny. I think it can, if delivered in the right way.
I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it, maybe it would mean more if we got the crowd to applause before they laugh…
OOOHHHHHH!!! HAHAHA, 2 and a half mooses with their wardrobe all decked, the paucho, the sunglasses, vicar and all, busty barmaid with three tits, red skelton with his trousers around is ankles, and the orator comes on, get this… and it’s DON KNOTTS!
standing ovation, although we could use Ron Howard, Don is more of a classic.
