Jehova's Witnesses

I guess while I was talking on the phone someone rang my doorbell because underneath the door was a piece of paper asking me to join the Witnesses for some sort of religious service

It reads as following:

Jesus Christ said that the greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them. (John 15:13) That is exactly what Jesus did just hours after making this statement.

How does Jesus’ death affect you? Why was it the greatest demonstration of love? Will you be counted among Jesus’ friends? (wtf…) If that is your desire, then you are demanded by him to follow Jesus’ instruction and commemorate his death

This year, the anniversary of Jesus’ death falls on a saturday, March 22, after sundown. The Jehovah’s witnesses are asking you to remember this event with them and to examine why Jesus’ sacrifice was the most worthwhile demonstration of a love beyond words.

You are also invited to a special bible talk entitled “Who is qualified to rule mankind, and why Christian doctrine is infallible”

We know you will make the correct decision.

I really don’t know what to make of this…

You don’t really have to know what to make of this.
Go to their kingdom hall, talk to them, and then they will tell you why and how to believe and view certain important moral issues about Jesus and life and God and the bible.

They asked you to go, how could you say no?
Christ was nice, that sacrifice, he payed the price.
God can see, he’ll ever be, he made you free.
It’s time for worship, time to preach,
Ask a bishop, hear them teach.
You sinful man, you’re worthy not,
But from God’s grace, he forgets you not,
He made an offer, for you to agree,
Sent the word, for you to see.

It’s time to repeat, the good old ways,
Think as we think and do as we say.
There’s pleanty of reason, behind all this,
It’s not just me, taking a piss.
Try God out, I’m sure you’ll find,
That all the faith shalt blow your mind.
It’s such a wonder, to have the hope,
But you can’t have sex, or smoke more dope.
It’s time to turn the other cheek,
Time to obey and be more meek.
God will show you the perfect way,
He’ll slay your ass if you are gay.
They’ve got the truth, they spread it far,
From old and from youths, that’s not bazaar.
It’s time for Christ, time for the savior,
Time to adjust your personal behavior.
There are commands, that you should hear,
And is God that you should fear.
The days are short, but time still left,
Don’t covet that wife, or act in theft.
There’s a brotherhood, made of Should,
They know that God is the only Good.
Join up now, before it’s too late,
Never again shalt you masterbate.
No more drinking, no violent films,
Maybe no thinking to defile the hyms?
Clean up your act, and get to work,
God may still think that you’re a jerk.
There’s many bibles, far and wide,
Read them each, take them inside.
Getting saved is all the rage,
Just get ready for the final stage.
NWO is coming around,
Best submit to the God they’ve found.
Not too long till judgement day,
It’s time to study, time to pray.

Nice rhyme, Dan~.

The witnesses that I have known have all been nice people.

Looks like these were only trying to help.

Didn’t Jesus say while on the cross, “FORGIVE THEM Father…”

Sounds pretty snotty to me.

First, someone dies “for you” and the next thing you know, you OWE them BIG TIME. :unamused:

Satan is real and your dream will come true, you will spend iternity with him.

Nice people, or true people, who would I choose, if I could only choose one?
Wouldn’t it be odd, if the truth made man amoral and un-nice?
But as things stand now, the truth is far too mystical, too far outside of human reach, and we’ll have to choose values instead. Good religions are made up of good values and good people, not necissarily true, but virtueous. If the philosopher wants only truth and not virtue, he will most-likely set aside almost all of human culture, seeking out very rare men and women whom each have set asside the addictions of the sensationalism that virtue is based upon. That will not be fun, that will be so sober that it would bore all sorts of ordinary people. Society luckily ignores that type of truth, so that even if it contradicts their greatest fundamental values, they do not declare war on it, or persicute the philosophers. They’re keenly destracted by all of the mass media and products, and less likely to attack professors, these days. Governers today have not burned or decapitated philosophers, and not that there are many as a “threat” in the first place, but if truth ever reaches that level where it starts to threaten human fundamental values, the value [chemical thrills] of violence will immediately rise up to affirm itself through sensation.

If man is too weak by then, it would not even be violence anymore, but instead it would be simple hate : “Amoral persons are disgusting.”

I’m not sure where to sit, do I want the good or the true? Could I mannage to have both?
I know that people would hate me, if they knew all about me. They would hate the moral difference, the non-compliance. Burn those witches, god hates fags, mock the wierdos, dum all outside of the dogmas of concentual physics as some sort of insane sub-persons, and whatever else, it is this reason why the individual truly needs privacy. In private, there’s no-one to clasp your **** with victorian imperialism. “God” as an all-seeing entity, counteracts the amoral / immoral liberties of privacy. All-seeing-God means God can hate you, or judge you, even if you disobey / deviate in a private place. This moral boogey-man that hides far away and watches all that one does, ensures that morality is more deeply enforced, that the mind is controlled more fully, that totality is somehow morally reached, so that man can be forced to be good. It means you can be scared alone, even when away from danger.

The natural fear of large numbers of people, exists in almost everybody. This survival instinct came about through complex situations, or it simply was part of a subliminal logic that everyone should have, to know that being observed by a large group of strangers is dangerous. But that is the essence of justice, too, that a jurry and a judge and all kinds of witnesses observe someone’s actions, then control and attack amorality. The law itself, for most of history, has been ‘terrorism’, by definition, with such public executions and strictness mainly meant to scare people, to use fear for control, to enforce the moral.

The bible speaks often of the fear of god… I believe it’s all been submission and not love. The submission gives some relief from the feeling of fear, thus it feels liberating, it feels like a little bit of salvation. Jesus has already had his public execution, his torture and whatever else, in our place and for our sake. It would have made allot more sense back in Rome and Greece, a martyr took the bullet that really needed to be morally shot. To have him die and be tortured instead of us, “paying the price for us”, that “ransome sacrifice”, would have ordinarily reduced the fear of god [the fear of morality and justice] just enough to be able to submit and bow down instead of running away immediately.

At the root of their hearts, allot of the witnesses are still scared. They each believe in armageddon, on god’s judgement day, in a sort of mass-killing unlike ever seen before. The fear and terror runs deep, twists, it later becomes that love which is not, to appease and gain the enemy, and oh what a way to live… To live with good values and justice, instead of truth.

Cool! :slight_smile: One question, does Hell get Internet service?

I once had a similar conversation with some of my friends; we toyed with the hilarious notion of Satan frolicking around in a meadow of flowers and losing the keys to Hell (only to be found by a toddler); then having to find a job, apartment, etc. in the human realm. We all agreed it would have made a great sitcom. :laughing:

Well, here’s how I read it:

They have networks established. Almost any more advanced specie has a long-range communications network, but most demons prefer one-on-one contact, directly talking and telepathy and all of that, the good old fashioned natural way. Not everyone spends eternity with the satanesque types of places, many are guests or arrive for business and then later leave. You’d probably not want to leave, though, what with all of the infernal satyrs, beer, sex and high quality musicians.

Dan~ - you know you’re preachin’ to the choir when you’re tawkin’ to me.

Maybe it’s their prediliction for fear that makes those Witnesses so nice. Have to think about that one.

“Meek” might be a better word than “nice”. Like goats.

Who doesn’t like goats?

Or Bunnies?

The headquarters and main guys that oversee the whole organization, are called the “faithful and descreet slave class”… They openly call the most advanced ones, slaves/servants.

The modulation of human behavior is very strange. Some people feel more gentle, kind and merciful after experiencing hardship or abuse, whilst others become more cold and cruel from the experience. Some people feel that religion brings them closer to the truth, others feel that anything religious clouds their sanity and hampers their Will. What produces pleasure for one person, can produce the exact opposite for another, and what was good for one, is poison for the other.

The real shit starts once the law becomes absolute, for that automatically dictates only a certain class of people are allowed to survive. Do they still kill gays in Iran? I think witch-burning was a better example, though, of that type of law style. As we know, behavior and personality is caused not by free will, but by solid matter, real genes, real chemicals and real experiences. Therefor when a metaphysical law is physically enforced, it has a physical effect, not a metaphysical effect. Absolute laws purge or suppress a certain type of chemical reaction in the brain, aswel as suppressing a certain type of gene. If being anti-christian was punishable by death, soon there would only be the christian gene left, and the whole nation would be naturally prone to some type of theism, even if separated from the church, their religious genes would still burn onwards, their life would be parareligious. I’m not sure exactly how much has been done to the human gene pool and the mind, or whatever else. I do know that the dark ages happened, that just a few atheist barbarians could easily take out the whole shit of holy Rome, and that the American IQ is dropping. But, USA has many immigrants, new blood, new ways of living, a multicultural state. That may be how it is still alive, that it saved itself through diversity, that variety made more options and powers available for the state.

Could it be that some types of people feel exuberance and illumination from oppression and politics? I’d already said some feel only stronger and more kind from abuse, and some only feel more and more true after hearing [lies] about god, but could it be also that there is a certain type of man, a certain type of gene, like some sort of dung beetle mutation, or a worm, or a bacteria, or something else like that, which flourishes from what others would find as unlivable or toxic? - If so, how much influence do these sorts of people have? And does the man-maggot save humanity from decandance, by exploiting, using, consuming or sending inspirational authority into the rotten and weak mush? There are many sorts of things which only weak and ignorant persons would support or follow, but between them all, wrong can be made into right…

Goats can handle more than sheep can, I would assume… then again, mountain goats compared to mountain sheep, those may be rather equal? Despite that, if they were in a big pile of crap, without any grass, a fly and a maggot would outpreform them both, just like a little sheep could out-preform a lion, if there was ever a place with only grass and no meat. - I suppose that means morality is a side-effect of the self-regulation of genes, and that would be why what was once held as highest moral virtue would to-day be seen as so immoral, for as the environment and the bloods change, so too would the good and the bad naturally change.

mmm?? no, i dont think so but i have strange feeling you won’t be needing it.

Well, that doesn’t sound very fun. Or, maybe, there are LAN parties? :slight_smile:

Well, that doesn’t sound very fun. Or, maybe, there are LAN parties? :slight_smile:
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Nope. O:)

Why do I always detect a certain sense of glee when Christians discuss hell. Honestly, if you really believe that there is a place where God is going to eternally…thats eternally, not for a really long long time, but forever…torture people who aren’t in the club. Why is everyone so smartassed and sort of pithy about the prospect of other people going there.

Shit, by your own doctrine you should be pretty upset about someone falling into a campfire for 30 seconds, yet the usual Christian response to an eternity of unquenchable fire is…Oh well, you had your chance to make Jesus your personal Lord and Savior.

Bumper sticker religions need to be done away with promptly.

Because in their eyes anyone who disagrees with them will burn in it.

Case in point: Find a single Christian who believes that THEY themselves are going to Hell instead of their Magic Space Wizard.

Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t believe in hell the way that christians do. If it’s about J.W.s, eternal torture is off-topic. Their interpretation and the verse’s wording, describes eternal destruction not eternal torture. Dieing without god resurrecting you later, equates to eternal destruction. According to their logic, some kinds of people ruin everyone else’s life, therefor it is most merciful if god stops the injustice, but only after the set amount of time has passed so that everyone can do their own way instead of doing it god’s way. A loving parent would still be willing to destroy someone else, if that person threatened their family, etc. But also according to JW ideas, because god can revive u from the dead and undo all damages, he may care allot about everyone but at the same time allow evils [due to free-will argument] because of how he can undo the evil later, after the point has been proven and free-will has been practiced in each person’s life. Through this type of thinking, the problem of god allowing evils to exist is explained, that according to god’s laws, if someone is given free-will and the right to choose what they do, then humanity gets to control itself and choose not to follow god if it wants to and he will not force them to obey. God doesn’t / wont mindcontrol everybody. But because everyone is going to be sinning so much and destroy the world/self-destruct anyways, eventually god will have to override the free-will / non-interferance laws with other laws of divine purposes.

Various things like this -could- be accepted as reason, but because they are still based on the bible and the bible does not appear to be all true to me, I’ll not believe the JW ideas are all true either. Each person makes their choices after full knowledge. If u don’t know something then u can’t have free-will, or choose right, because u don’t have the knowledge. - So also according to JW ideology, another reason why god allows bad, is because humanity is allowed enough time to learn [or is supposedto learn] that all of history was an example of people doing things outside of their own free-will, and to learn who’s laws are correct, to learn right from wrong, to see that humanity needs god, bla bla.

:-({|=

What’s with The Watch Tower? they clasp it to them like if they let go of it even for a second: they will surely burn in hell’s fire, or even die? :unamused:

As said earlier, Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t believe in hell-fire / eternal torture. Also they disbelieve in consumerism, idolatry, etc. And don’t have statues or crosses or anything else at their places of ‘worship’. Because of this, they don’t have a clasp-to-material-things-for-luck kind of attitude, and also according to their beliefs, luck is a superstitious/false idea. So, am wondering what kind of clasping you are describing?

…as you can tell I know nothing of the JW’s religion, but they always have The Watchtower with them which they always try to pawn off on others, and if they haven’t got a copy to pawn off onto someone they can’t stop apologising profusely enough about it…