I was sitting at work today and suddenly I had an ephiphany. Some jobs are so pointless and unneccesary that the stupid people who perform these tasks could be replaced by inanimate objects.
Case in point:
In the fashion industry there are people who get paid to be ‘fit models’. Here’s what’s required: a body.
Wow! That must be really hard! So what you do, see, is go somewhere and put clothes on. Then you spin around while people ‘ooohhh’ and ‘aaaahhhh’ you until they become tired of looking at you.
This sounds like something a 4 year old must be qualified for. After all, unless you’ve suffered a serious physical debility, putting clothes on and spining really shouldn’t be an achievement of any sort.
And what inanimate object could perform this task… hmmmm, I’m trying to think… wait a minute… wait a minute…!!! Yes. I’ve got it. A manequin. A plastic shell shaped like a body that you can spin and shape in all sorts of directions without having to pay it an exorbitant fee, (except for the one time purchase fee of course).
I’m sure there must be dozens of jobs that we could eliminate with inanimate objects. I’d love to hear about any others you can think of.
I once saw as the witty tagline for a poster in an ‘adult’ chat forum
“Ethics be damned, clone the hot chicks”
This put me in mind of cloning models when they are in their prime because you really don’t have to be capable of conversation to be an effective model.
David Blaine’s girlfriend is so dumb he didn’t even speak to her for 40 days, he just got her to clean out his sty.
That’s not true. They glare at you, make you feel stupid, and restock the 24-packs of Miller Light. I’d like to see a single machine do all three of those things.