Hi James,
Sorry for being late.
James,I am feeling that now it is necessary to tell you about my process.
I do not know whether all this is said before by anyone else or not. You and other members are more informed than me but let me explain how I draw cogitations as it will clear the perspective more.
[i]I have I habit of writing down my thoughts and conclusions since long and I am quoting some of them-
I took his advice very seriously and concentrated on meditation. During that time I was doing nothing special and time consuming…….
So at that time I was left with only two things. One was preparing the cases and the other one was meditation. I started meditating whenever I got free time. This practice intensified with time and ultimately became a habit which is still intact…….
As I told earlier, my guru gave me two mantras for meditation……
At first I chanted them with very slow voice so that no one else could hear except me but as the time goes, automatically I switched to non-aural mode. Now my tongue was not moving but the words are pronounced by a slight movement in my throat and I was hearing them not with my ears but from my mind…
I was finding it very difficult to concentrate. I had to find something on which I can focus. As the duration of meditation increased, I felt many emotions going through my mind……
Then one day a new idea came in my mind and I tried to meditate lying straight in the bed. It worked. By adapting this method I was able to meditate for longer periods but I started to feel a little sleepy during meditation. More often than not, after meditating say about 15-20 minutes, I automatically slip into a nap even unwillingly. After awakening usually I felt very tired both physically and mentally. It appeared to me that something had happened during the nap but I was not able to recall it……
I decided that tonight I will put all of myself. At night I started meditating as usual and carried on doing it. I never did it for so long before. The experience and the impact were also different this time. It was very difficult to keep the concentration going for longer periods. I was trying very hard to focus at the echo and in doing that I felt that I have come closer to the echo. Now I was not only hearing the echo but also somewhat seeing the words. Although, echo is not a physical thing but I felt like that and all of a sudden a picture of an old man flashed before my closed eyes…….
I was finding it very difficult to concentrate on the echo of my voice for longer times. My mind was simply refusing to stick at one point. Whenever I start meditating, after some minutes, many things used to pop up in the mind from nowhere. I was totally surprised to see that how much is stored in the mind. Normally it appears to us that we do not remember beyond a certain limit but it is not true. Our mind preserves almost all memories from the time when our understanding develops in the childhood. Out mind has a recycle bin type of system like computers. All those memories, which are not required regularly, are sent to the recycle bin but these are not permanently deleted. These memories can be restored if we can control our mind……
More often than not I tend to flow with those thoughts forgetting to concentrate on the echo. I have to bridle my mind regularly towards the echo…
It was bit like this- imagine that something important happened 3-4 days back like a heated argument with someone. Apparently, it is looking to me that I am done with it and it has no importance to me at this very moment. My mind is not recalling that event so that chapter is closed forever. But, when I start to meditate, and as the concentration increases, I am again seeing the thoughts regarding that incident. They are still very much alive there. I am trying to avoid them to concentrate on meditation but they are just refusing to leave.
This phenomenon unveiled to me a very important fact that, though I am not able to realize it normally but my mind is still discussing the issue in its loneliness. I am claiming that it is my mind so it should do what I want but it is not the case. It is not in total control of my will. If I do not want to recall that incident then who is that other entity which is overruling my will by dragging me back?
Standing at this very moment, I can clearly see that there are two entities fighting each other to take control of mind. One is my will and the second is who is originating those thoughts. I used to wonder that where the real “I” or “me” has gone!
Is my will is real myself or those irrational thoughts are real myself?
Or the real myself is something else that exists independently from the other two?
I tried to find the answer in the religious books but did not get any. I found them silent on the issue. But, as time passed I began to understand these things to some extent. Many years later, destiny provided me the opportunity to have a look at religious and spiritual texts once again. But this time, to my surprise, they started chatting.
Hence, I understood that they were vocal all the time but my ears were not tuned to their wavelength.
This very stage is the maximum which our thinking or philosophy is able to lead us; not beyond. One needs not to be a religious person or spiritualist up to here. Many scientists even fall in this category. I want to mention two names particularly; Einstein and Newton. In my opinion, they are true philosophers. All of their finding is derived by their ability to think in the true state of third person. Relativity and curved spacetime are the perfect examples of that.
As I said earlier, our mind is possessed by two entities; we can name them as outer mind and inner mind for our comfort. In general, they do not concentrate on a single issue at any given time. But, as they are inter-connected and even influence each other, so if such a state comes when they concentrate on a common issue together, their combine capacity increases manifolds. This is the stage where out of the world concepts like curved spacetime comes into existence. This precise moment is the starting point of the journey to the beyond. Theist or atheist, scientist or priest, feeling this moment, one is compelled to believe that there is something else and beyond me and my mind.
This is what Kant realized and named these unwilling thoughts and their source as categories and schemata.
It was very frustrating. Despite all these things, I continued to meditate. Till now, all those flashes and thoughts, which occurred during meditation, are not unfamiliar to me except of that flash of an old person. All of them happened earlier in life from childhood till now…
As the time passes, I tried to put more effort in meditation but as I told earlier, I was not able to hold myself for more than 15-20 minutes. My mind used to become heavy and I fell asleep unwillingly, so I decided to meditate with open eyes to keep going for longer times. Now I was able to hold for more 8-10 minutes. Now, with open eyes, those flashes and thoughts were less disturbing than closed eyes but, the level of concentration was also decreased very much. It was quite difficult to concentrate on the echo and almost impossible to an image, with my eyes open but I tried to do that. The basic problem was that when I kept my eyes opened, my concentration automatically came on the eyes, so it was very difficult to concentrate on the echo. To overcome this situation, I tried to imagine the words of echo in the front of my eyes to create an object to see. In other words, I tried to make the words appear as I pronounced them. It worked to some extent but I found that the words are actually popping up in the mind, instead of eyes so my concentration again tend to shift from the eyes to the mind and once again, I started feeling drowsy. The experience of drowsiness was different this time compared to closed eyes. I could not able to fell into a nap because I had kept my eyes opened forcefully…
While meditating with open eyes, I almost reached at the verge of sleeping without been slept. This stage was like a dividing line between sleeping and awakening. I do not know any other word to describe it. I kept hanging between both sides for some time. Then something very unusual happened. A window (like computer) opened in my mind and some scenes were running on it. What I mean to say is that it was like seeing a film. I was not present there. I was just witnessing it. This last perhaps 1-2 minute then someone shook me slightly and I came back to my senses….[/i]
So James, you can see how I learned. This is the source of my knowledge. Actually, I learned in opposite way. The general practice is to go through theory first then try the practical but I first went through practical part then read about it. Whatever I learned about mind, humans and other realms is due to this process. Later I read the scriptures, particularly Hindu and Islamic, and tried to verified my experience and found that they are more or less right in their narration. The description of other realms in them is not a fairy tale as generally perceived, but for real.
I also want to let you know how I visualize different stages of existence. They are quite similar with you but not verbatim-
The whole of cosmos in made of three ingredients; matter, mind and consciousness. This is applicable to anything that exists as that must have either one these or the amalgamation of either two or all three. The crux lies in the ratio of the mix.
Although there are enumerable stages of existence but, for our convenience, we can divide them in four categories.
1st stage- I simply do not know how or what to name it but we may call it eternal or cosmic consciousness. Neither mind nor matter is present here. This is the highest and eternal stage. Time has no relevance here. Existence emerges from here and also annihilates in it and this process goes on perpetually. We may compare it with zero. Although 0 is 0 but it has infinite potential. We can create anything from it. Like-
0= 1-1
O=2-2
0=1000-1000
So, the sum is still 0 but 2000 more entities could be created from it and there is no limit of it.
I feel that this stage is a perfect mix of consciousness and will. They nullify each other and the total remains 0. As soon as the mix disturbs, emergence manifests.
The process of existence is similar to atomic fission as many things manifests from 0. But, it is only my assumption and even i am not sure of that.
2nd stage- This realm is made of mind and consciousness. Matter is not present here. The ratio of mind and consciousness is almost equal here. This realm is also divided further in few subsets and that depends on the ratio of mind and consciousness. Divinity (as we perceive it in general) does not present here. We may call it subtle realm. Due to the presence of mind, time starts ticking but runs very slowly. Inhabitants of this realm are almost immortal or may be immortal. I am not sure. This realm does not interact with other lower realms in general, but sometimes. Inhabitants use to exist here only in mental form.
3rd stage- Matter comes into existence from this realm and completes the chain. All Gods, Deities, and God heads are inhabited here. This realm has the most number of subsets and most populous also. Our earth is nothing in comparison. Time also runs fast here than subtle realm. We may call it divine or spiritual realm because existence is present here in the form of spirits.
Each subset has its own ratio of mix of matter, mind and consciousness. Due to the addition of matter, the ratio of mind and consciousness becomes less here in the total existence, in the comparison of subtle realm. Even ratio of mind and consciousness, which was equal in subtle realm, changes as mind becomes dominant here.
Religions refer to this realm when they talk about angles, avatars, prophets, scriptures, garden, throne, pen etc. This realm is in with direct touch with humans and other ‘living’ species. There is not much difference between the inhabitants of this realm and humans. They take birth and die. They have emotions like humans love, hate, etc. They also fell ill, fall in love, get married and even use to have sex as humans do. This is very reason why most religions say that God created human just as his image.
The only difference between the humans and this realm is powers. Due to the presence of less matter in their existence than humans, their mind is able to cause changes in matter/existence/appearance. This phenomenon is often perceived by us as supernatural powers.
4th stage- This is us. We may call it physical realm. Matter becomes dominant here and results in less control on the existence of the inhabitants of this realm. Due to the increase of matter in the ratio of the mix, the proportion of mind and consciousness becomes lesser than divine realm. Furthermore, the ratio even between mind and consciousness also changes in the favour of mind. As the result, consciousness becomes almost silent in the total existence. Times runs very fast here.
This realm plays a part of training and testing centre for the inhabitants of the divine realm. They use to send spirits here, which take birth here caged within human body. It is just as we use send our children to boarding school. They use to visit us as parents do for their children while boarding. Sometimes our souls also travel divine realms just as children come home in vacations. We witness all this in our dreams. Dreams are nothing but the routine life of the soul. Freud got it totally wrong.
When the training completes, soul gives test in the form of circumstances. If it passes, then can go back, otherwise it has to take birth again to complete the course. There is no free will here as we think. All is pre planned. Yes, there may be some small cases of liberty here and there, but by and large, we are destined and governed. I even found that they have some control on our thinking too. They have the capacity to inject thoughts in our minds in such a way that we confuse them as ours.
What i said is the mix of my experience, some borrowed knowledge and some assumption on the top of it.
So James, you can see what i mean by agreeing by and large and yet not accepting it completely. Though there is not much difference and i may be wrong on some of the differences.
The whole of universe is covered with pta. Every pta tries to affect its neighbouring pta and thus creates waves of affect in all directions. These waves add and cancel each other and that depends on the direction of the propagation. This causes an irregular spread of them across the universe. As every point of the universe has a pta, thus it accommodates some waves but not all. Thus, the remaining waves have to wait, but in the meantime, more waves comes(as it is a continuous process) and add to tally of already waiting ones and making it more and more large. Thus, these waiting waves create a mountain of them which now becomes almost a impossible hurdle for new comers and this is inertia.
James, did i get it right?
Yes, i am very well aware of that as we all are alike in this regard. This is just we discussed above-inertia.
with love,
sanjay