I’ve been long considering writing a thread like this. Fixed Cross’ thread, viewtopic.php?f=2&t=186363, inspired my to do so now, rather than later, so I’d like to thank him for that.
This thread will likely only be of interest to those who have wondered what my relation to KTS is and my involvement on it as opposed to this forum, or for those who have found me to be dishonest at times, in that regard or any other, and want an explanation. I realize that may include very few people, but find the need to write it anyway.
I’ve been a member of KTS since last summer, first under the account Canterbury, then starting in late February, under Stuart. I originally made an account with a different name partially just for a change, but I was also afraid of offending those on this forum by being too clear about my interest and involvement there. Though at the time I thought that a minor issue, not a direct product of fear. To be honest I may as well have spoke openly about how I was beginning to find that forum useful.
About October last year my account named Canterbury was restricted to the sub-forum “Dungeon” for good reason, though I doubted it at the time. Then, due to hatred at being regarded so low, I started to openly slander Satyr and to a lesser extent Lyssa and some of the other members of KTS. The question that may be asked, was if I was slandered in return by Satyr, Lyssa and a few others at KTS. Though, it may at first have appeared that way, I wasn’t.
In late February returning to KTS as Stuart, I said in the “Forums” thread, that I would no longer take part in provoking this cross communication between the two forums. Though far less loud, I didn’t keep my word on that. Later, better understanding this break in trust, I attempted to be apologetic, but did so half-heartedly, and was recently told, once again, by Satyr and Lyssa, in no uncertain terms what they think of me.
My motives are of need, the need for friends, and having few, I value those here greatly, but I also think that honesty is a motive that I’ve longed highly regarded. I’ve been dishonest, and can only admit to it, and try to be more honest in the future by digging deep and challenging myself to reveal things I’ve hidden from others, and myself. Satyr, Lyssa and others at KTS of been very helpful for me in doing that. Their refusal to water-down the truth has given me reason to look closely at what I fear and value.
Exploring one’s fears and hypocrisies involves risk, which is partially why, as far as I can discern, Satyr, Lyssa, and others at or involved with KTS don’t directly approach others asking them to take that challenge, but simply state their views honestly, and to let others initiate any personal analysis. So with that said, while I recommend reading and trying to understand the work at KTS, mostly because I find the quality of work written and referenced there far exceeds any other forum, I don’t necessarily recommend further involvement than that for others. It seems its best to challenge oneself to read and explore the ideas there as they have the strength to do so.
It’s not my goal to promote KTS in general, and no one has suggested I do so. I now intend on occasionally discussing and even promoting it on this forum alone, because I’ve already opened that door by doing so here in the past. It seems that to avoid further hypocrisy, I shouldn’t hide my more recent, perhaps more objective, views on that forum any longer. Generally, regarding this forum and others, my goal is to simply state, objectively, my understanding of the world, much of which was influenced by Satyr and others at that forum.
I don’t really expect any questions regarding further information about myself and KTS, but will answer any provided. As for general discussion on that forum, I don’t recommend it in this thread, but if started may give some input.