There’s a rather sad and obvious contradiction to self-help books. Books that teach people other than the authors how to ‘discover’ or ‘find’ what is unique and special to them are talking utter rubbish. If there’s something unique about me then some book written by a total stranger using liberal cliches is not going to help me find it, it’s going to help me find aspects of myself that can be explained by total strangers using liberal cliches.
These days the most common psychological ailment is anomie, the individual feeling of worthlessness and meaninglessness that results (according to Durkheim at least) from the loss of normative regulation - any set of commonly accepted rules and values which define, however provisionally, a society. The feeling that, in a world where everyone else appears to be rich and famous and glamerous and special, that I’m just a pleb, a meaningless squib by comparison. Dot he authors of these books really think that feeding people who are suffering from an overly individualistic culture more individualistic tripe is really going to help anything?
To someone who feels lost and like it makes no difference whether they live or die, telling them to ‘find yourself’ isn’t much use.
Besides which it is totally illogical - what is doing the searching? The same ‘self’ as is found. That which is found is always already there doing the searching, therefore there’s no need to look for it.
But of course if one uses obfuscating rhetoric and illogical nonsense and labels it ‘advice’ then idiots will think you are saying something profound. It’s so fucking easy:
Patient: Author, author, I’m 30 and have lost direction to my life
Self-help writer extraordinaire: You need to touch base with yourself, try a new hobby, or failing that redecorate your living room or buy a new wardrobe.
Patient: Author, Author, I’m an adolescent who is worried that she might be sexually peverse because I kissed another girl when I was drunk.
Total amateur with a flair for meaningful-sounding nonsense: Whatever you do is perfectly natural. Don’t worry about the pressures of ‘society’ or your peers, just do what feels right. (Even if that includes kidnapping and sodomising 5 year old boys using red-hot pokers and branding irons)
Patient: Author author, I don’t think I’m very interesting.
Advisory council set up by bleeding heart liberal thinktank: I’m sure you won’t become any more interesting by sitting indoors reading an indulgent, nonsensical book about someone else. Get a life.
All too often writers seeking to solve problems seek first to sympathise with the problem. That’s a sign of weakness, of decadence! Burn the witch, then prod about in the ashes. Leap before you look. Speak before you think. Buy the ticket, take the ride but for God’s sake don’t bang on about it like it’s something special.