In the midst of struggle most epic, I discovered how important it was to have a warriors mindset in terms of dealing with mental problems. When each day is a constant fight and you have to force your self just to get out of bed. Like swimming in a black hole you cant escape. Then when you taste fresh air, you think youre free only for it to jump you and bring you back down. You come to expect that and grit your teeth, reaching for one more breath of fresh air, grappling with madness and insanity. Then you discover your will to just keep going, to overcome any obstacle, to learn on the fly until you die and you become strong and raw and real and close to nature, loving everything so vibrantly and living on top of the storm instead of being dragged under. And you know that you survived and are fearless.
It becomes the discovery of self and life in the process of that, then the letting go to see where youre taken. At one point, I became of the mind to get well-acquainted with the struggle because it had become personal and I chose to keep going back rather than to wonder the rest of my life the result of a fight unfought. Where there is a need, there are warriors to rise, out of those who would rather have peace. In times of universal deceit, even the most spoiled can rise to noble heights when confronted by the gravity of the situation, even those seen to be evil can have a shining moment or two. This is the power of the warrior spirit of peace, to touch even the most villainous and make them see a better way, and what better age to do it when the world is at our fingertips?
I am of the mind to take you all for ride after ride through time, through the eternal equinox to the other side of eternity and back again, to brave the depths of Hell to extend peace and love even unto the devil in his dominion, down through the abyss and out into a brighter day. Through the worst nightmares of even the greatest entities to bring peace to troubled minds and see all beautiful dreams realized. Though the days be rough, we will be tough and yet gentle enough to dance through the pain. There is a storm still on the horizon and it will put even the most hardened to the test. Where hope exists, we will fight and put to right all that is wrong. This is our home and we will be free and safe in it or we will die trying time after time.
Hidden within is power unrealized and untapped as people try to kill the animal inside and I say to become that animal, become that beast and retain your love through it. Fancy words drip off my tongue like honey and laid so succinctly and I dont expect anyone to trust, but I will teach you how to lead yourselves properly through saying and doing at the same time, bringing the subconscious to the conscious through heightened awareness and teach you balance and focus through the paradoxes and extremes as we bend them upon themselves and surf the universe mirrored within through informational data passed through our eyes through light and through our ears via sound and frequency. Sensed in ways beyond that we just cant quantify, we’ll put order to the chaos of the mind. These ARE the days of our lives and our legacy to leave for all the rest of time. How do you want to die? How do you choose to live? Mild and subdued or alive and free until that final moment? Someone a younger you could look up to and respect?
I know exactly what you mean here. I had a girlfriend once who had a waterbed. We were fucking…er, I mean ‘making love’… one night and the goddamn thing busted. Now when a waterbed busts, if the hole is big enough, the water escapes so fast that the bed literally implodes. So I’m trying to climb out of this thing as fast as I can to try and plug the hole somehow, and I can’t get out of it because it’s pulling me down in the middle. The gravitational forces were extraordinary. It literally wrapped itself around us and began to swallow us whole. I fought and I fought. It took me a good eight or nine seconds to get out of that bed.
Can you teach yourself just to understand enough to teach others? I decided one day a few years back to imagine that my understanding for things would only continue to do so as long as I never presumed to have reached that final depth, or height. I started compensating in so many ways that I did not understand at the time but wanted to. When you can apply and adapt something like that to other problems thats when you really feel success and gratification. Applying it outwardly allows for rapid learning and adaptation as well as greater quality in whatever your art is, for when work is enjoyed, it is art and fluidity, knowing what to do through refinement of a craft. We have fun with it and still are able to pay attention to our loved ones, because we make time for it on the fly and juggle a lot of things in the process like pros. Helping those who cant help themselves and creating a world of good will and social harmony with each new generation keeping us to task as we are challenged to raise them. Better art
And then you can count on friends like zoot to bring a moment of levity at the perfect time when you wouldnt think about it. The difference between night and day. Its not even seeing it coming and enjoying it even better for that. Its always good to have a good laugh when you know a person enough to know its not malicious. A moment of having our cake and eating the motherfucker. Mazeltov!
But the goal isnt to be caught in just one accomplishment but to use it to keep going to accomplish other things in due process of the love to learn. To take it all in stride and use it as fuel to add impetus even though the direction has suddenly changed. Even caught by surprise, youre focused and in the zone and cant easily be knocked out of it. Its the difference between life and death in dangerous situations and that is part of the reality of it. The difference between being taken advantage of and avoiding it. What good is the philosophical mind if it cant even keep grounded in 3D reality or help others navigate the dimensions beyond. Alternating simple and complex and never being bored of the work you do both inside and out and something you could rest your hat on if you were into that sort of thing, but we all have many faces to cycle through in the most epic choose-your-own-adventure-as-you-go. Challenge accepted. When we are able to respect our selves and others there will be no ‘evil’ or ‘sin’.
To take step after step and be able to keep on that track and see enough of the path ahead to navigate it. Its not about living, its about being able to live with our selves in the process. There is strength in unity. Unify with nature.
When you look and act like prey, you will be and you cant keep a guard up constantly, that is impossible until you learn to leave yourself room to react to life as it develops around you. Leaving room for others free will while being firm in your own. The choice to work together in such a way would defy conventional notions of impossible if achieved on a grand scale. That is the shining goal and the hopes and dreams of countless entities and is impossible to corrupt or taint and that is what pain and suffering and ‘evil’ is for, to carry us to such a point where we could handle it competently in such a manner. It is self-maintaining after a while and is perfection and that is our destiny if we can just get through the greed and the corruption, avoid nuclear warfare and bio-chemical attacks. We’re sub-atomical in nature, get down to that level a bit and teach even the cells of your own body. Maybe we can defy death if we try to make time for that, too. But always be prepared to face it, just in case.
The trick is that I teach my self while Im teaching you. I am one of my own students. Reinforcing within while creating my ongoing masterpiece that so many have helped create and I hope continue to help create by simply being your selves and adding to the majesty of life and nature. Just be your selves and the course of cause and effect takes care of itself.
I just had a very interesting experience tonight that helped bring even more depth to my understanding. It is a rather strange life that we are caught up in, but I would have it no other way. It is truly a pleasure, this work. Some things are better left unmentioned and yet mentioned nonetheless. A toast to odd acquaintances.
Yeah your writing is steadily getting better. You’ve got a tight, aphoristic form at this point. Methodical. The beginnings of a good combination of poetry and prose. Getting stronger Phred the Phuckhead…
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I33u_EHLI3w[/youtube]
I owe it to the belief of others. I would not be what I am without the support of some really good friends. I worked hard at it, but wouldnt have made it without help because of all that tried to kill me. Do it on my own? Ludicrous. Just paying it forward and continuing my networking. Just doing a job I love. The proof is in the fruits of the labor, or so they say. They say that fate comes to those in life or death struggles and gives them an option and then they are bound to serve it depending on their style of response. I am just another dead man walking.
Walkin’ the mile…
Walkin’ the mile…
Walkin’ the green mile…
Oh, I almost forgot. One more thing. Whenever you give someone praise or compliment and they immediately share that credit, transferring it to someone else (friend, teacher, peers, whatever), you have a good, modest person. I’m not talking about those fake-ass celebrities that say ‘I wanna um, thank my momma and God and all my friends for all their support, yada yada’ when they receive an oscar. That shit is transparent. But you, Phunky Phred, you keepin’ it real.
Trixie, is there anything you would like to say to Phunky Phred? Maybe a phrase that begins with the words ‘I’m sorry’ and ends with the words ‘for calling you an asshole all this time.’
(my work is done here)
When I was young, my mom would spend time with my sister and I, read us bed time stories and did bible study, but when my step dad and her began fighting, that stopped. She is a remarkable woman to stick by her man even through the worst, even choosing him over us. She had a quiet strength to match his hurricane proportion. That man could get a wild look in his eye and pick apart your weaknesses. That wild look had me more scared than anything else Ive ever encountered. I didnt have much of a childhood but I remember the good that was there. He was a philosopher that claimed to have been Moses and struck by lightning a decent number of times. Now, I know the source of his madness and why he called me evil and so many other things. My life a testament to the pain and suffering a boy can endure and become a man in the process. Now I know who to blame for it all. I know their face and their entire game and Im in such an unprecedented position. My life has been open season and Im still processing that.
Still calling me the villian, I see.
Let me see, I havent bothered Phred as of late, but you still want to stir up the old beast?
Record is, he started throwing violent ad homs at me because I simply didnt agree to his ideas, which he admitted were troll bait in the first place.
Man lays troll bait, then visciously attacks me, and I’m the villian.
Reminds me of the time I did a performing magic show gig a while back. Part of the routine was I talk about how great a magacian I am. And the crowd turned hostile, started throwing tomatoes, like they had never seen a magic show before. Straight up ruined my show, and called me a fraud. People are just mean.
And yet, they were nice to all the other magicians. My lot in life I guess.
You know, Im getting a little tired of you dragging shit out of context. I did not post the thesis that CGI was sentient to bait you. I posted that as a genuine article. The bait was laid before that, when we first collided on this forum. You are what you claim me to be and Im what you wish you could be. I mean every word that I state and truth is to few and far between out of your lips. Get a grip on your fucking paranoia and quit your fucking bullshit, soldier. Front and center, now. You sorry disgrace of an intellectual, you seem so determined to prove me to be as bad as you, but I made it through mine. Are you still you? I dont play fuck-fuck games, I take this shit seriously which is what you better start doing.
So, you’re a real intellectual? Taking the shit seriously, not playing games, going to hell and fighting battles with demons, playing soldier, and showing the light to the devil himself, I presume?
This is real, not fantasy, not games, and real intellectual stuff?