I just got a cat back from the vet… I didn’t really like it that much for the longest time, was the land ladies, always had feline herpes mucus dripping from its left eye, but it started insisting on staying at night with me in my room, or during the day.
Incredibly stupid cat… I train any animal I have for the highest intelligence possible, this one… I’ve given up all hope on. He leaped from a second story window once, pissing me off cause I thought he died when I couldn’t find him and saw the open window, but he lived.
He started walking funny the other day, covered in vomit in the hall. He was very cold to the touch, which isn’t unusual given I keep the place very cold (landlady doesn’t keep the house heat on anymore after I set up a array of electric heaters for her in her living room).
So… I figured he was just sick, needed yo be warm, so shoved him under my blankets. It didn’t seem to work, he kept getting weaker, so I closed the window, turned on the little heater I have to make certain the room warmed above freezing. Still nothing… colder. I put two heating pads on him, the air activated ones… colder… then blood started coming out of his mouth.
So we rushed him to the veterinarian after that, turns out he couldn’t pee, obstruction. I had something similar as a teen. I really never much cared for him much, but figured since he was so attached to me, always coming to me… and I could hear his scared voice crying every time I turned the electric drill on… he would run and cry to be let out. I kept hearing him say “Meep” “Meep” over and over again from that day with the drill… so I scronged up enough to pay the half upfront for his surgery.
He is now laying next to me. Now… I have ideas of childhood memories of just wanting to return to safety, snuggle up in a warm spot in my stinky blanket, and be taken care of, so I have been operating on that assumption. I’ve scratched his ears, done everything like we used to… he seems very content.
Problem is… though much smaller, cat brains aren’t too dissimilar to humans… similar architecture. They have personalities as we do… but what is the impulse to treat it as a child? I’m not substituting it as a human child, yet I impose upon him my childhood insecurities and longings upon him, and he is reacting exactly in response as I expect him too, despite it being a novel situation for both of us.
I know the roughly front right quarter of the mind governs this in humans, yet there has to be substantial differences… our brain is just way bigger. But a cat brain has 3 other quarters, like a human.
So I have a instinct to acting this way… probably a paternal instinct… dumped a massive amount on something that looks like a large rodent just as my job seems to be drying up… so it’s very risky… more than likely will not get all my equipment bought prior to being let go, which means I’ll be homeless again, but find it acceptable. He might of played on my paternal instinct enough to live, which is a impressive feat on it’s part, but at the same time I know it is just a giant rat, that keeps finding weird places to shit.
Why do I have the instinct to treat it in it’s current state of medical recovery in the manner I felt I needed as a child?
Why did I insist on keeping him alive just because I had lived through a similar medical situation and lived? He isn’t the first pet to nearly die on me, I’ve buried many.
We didn’t have a close relationship, he had a close relationship to me, not vice versa. I tolerated him. A lot of the other cats ignore me, and I flat out wouldn’t supply them with such currency to keep them alive.
Vet is threatening a sex change operation on him… male cats, once the start pushing stones, can’t always pass it from narrow tubes… so they turn the dick to a bag. I’m thinking of just shoving a coffee stirrer staw up into him and let him pee through that next time. If he has another issue in the next few months, I can’t afford to keep him alive, period. No way possible, all my savings just vanished over this.
I gotta go too… still can’t get up cause I don’t want to disturb the rat. My is it this one area of the mind I limit him too, why not the other areas. Cats are complex enough, they should have a wider receptive range… but I don’t.