my goddamn roomates cat fucken pisses on everything.
That little fucker. My roomate can’t train him right, or put his nose in it when he does it in his room, he just yells at the cat, and the cat runs off, and wins the game.
He has pissed on ALL my stuff under my bed, pissed on my fucken pillow, all my clothes, in every room in the house, and even sneaked into neighboors houses and pissed in their fucken house.
I am going to KILL him. Please give me some suggestions in helping me kill this fucken cat.
I gotta say, I saw your thread title, and came in expecting to find the weirdest spam EVER. Didn’t even notice your name until after I saw you actually talking about something.
OH, and as far as advice goes, the trick is to make the punishment fit the crime, so the cat can associate one with the other, even in it’s little cat brain.
So, the next time the cat pisses on something, flush the cat down the toilet.
A little anti-freeze in the food will take him right out. Animals will eat it because it smells sweet or whatever. Then you wait a little while and they just die. Put it in a bag and throw it in the dumpster. MAKE SURE that no one from peta finds out,(those extremists might just try and make you out to be a criminal).
Forget the cat, kill the roommate. But do it in a way that looks like suicide. Thus, you can then give the cat away to a random girl and get straight As until the end of the year.
Here comes the offtopic philopissing contest:
Behold, it is much like a boulder. None wish to bare it for long, due to how heavy it may be. Yes, it falls heavily, but once, and moves no longer.
Behold, the destructiveness of control.
Domestication, such an ideal, is it.
Disarmed, declawed, shattered, broken, refined and bled into submission.
This is virtually the source of the unnature, much like the burning outbursts of the geiser. But it does not shoot upwards freely. Instead, it brings billions of years of hard work and evolution down into a wholely poisoned mediocratic filter. Lo, Man was thought of as the greatest value, but see here, infact, if he is to lie so politically, than nearly all he says most powerfully will be the opposite of fact. And therein, Man is one of the largest abominations nature has ever bore.
Control of another does not come freely or easily. It comes first through temptation, and next through trauma. Abuse and addiction are the two tools of which human control pours out over the earth. Less than a tenth of those whom they touch are controlled and altered by pleasure. The rest are fished up, cut down, shot through, chopped apart, whipped and morally sophistrated into a cage, so that the leech may suck blood for a few more years before its own undoing.
So, it is just to beat the sinner, and justice is the justification of punishment in raw form. The daughter of jealousy.
Atleast go so short as to recall, these behaviors which one may hate, arose for the sake of the others survival and future. Would one hate another for being sick? But moreso, the slave hates the wild and the free for being alive.
After dumb ass cat did it again, I cornered him, and stared at him for a really long time, while pointing my finger at him, then snapped my finger when he looked away to remind him that I was pointing at his sorry hairy existense for a reason.
He hasn’t done it yet.
plus, a new roommate just moved into another room just the other day, and she has a cat, that I think mr. pee cat is in love with. They look exactly the same.
So we’ll see if love helpes him cure his bullshit, or if he acts like most dumbass human males who try to impress (more pee pee) their women instead of just being himself.
wait, I don’t want him to be himself either b/c that means more you know what. I just want a raccon or a cougar to find dinner somewhere around our yard soon.
Sir I applaud you. The cat was expressing his dominance over you two. You just became top pisser. You need to keep up the reinforcment though. If the cat behaves in any unacceptable manner grab him by the scruff force him down to the ground and tap on his nose in a firm manner. Say bad mr. pisser in a firm deep loud voice. Then as you release him slowly talk to him gently and stroke his head from the nose to the ears. This will continue to dominate him but, make him see you as his pride leader. Continue giving the cat everyday some affection and discipline. He will end up being closer to you then your roommate. This should truly piss your roommate off.
I have done the nose thing, but my roomate doesn’t do it. so it isn’t consistent. He is old and has been allowed to piss on everything and mark his territory without consequence his whole life.
I will try the other little tricks though Kriswest.
Well, I hope you get your training methods down, because soon you’re going to have 8 cats that love to pee pee.
Just remember- stupid people who don’t train their animals because it’s cruel will also not see the problem with having 7 of them in the house, all untrained. Eventually, the untrained animals in the smaller space will start to get infections, fight with each other, and the would be animal lover will say there’s nothing they can do. Be careful!
Sir, I train cats, old cats , young and middle age, we have 36, All know their names and come when you call them. You can change the habits of the old as easily as the young if you are persistant and consistant, it does not have to be your roommate it just has to be done, for your health and that of the cat. Screw your roommate. Cats are highly social if given the chance. They respect boundries. If he pees in the wrong place do as I suggested by putting his head down and thumping his nose but, then take him to the litter box and talk to him kind and firm. Sounds ridiculous but, he will understand your tone and demeanor. You will probably have to repeat this a few times but, he will learn to respect your territory and love you for it. Soon he will look to you as the leader and comforter. Best of luck
I don’t want him to be himself either b/c that means more you know what. I just want a raccon or a cougar to find dinner somewhere around our yard soon.