Little Timmy Gets Some Help from His Friends

Little Timmy, through his hard work and entrepenuerial expertise, was able to build a nice little empire for himself. He was able to sell dozens of army men every day, without even lifting a finger.

He was such a genius, only a person of his large brain capacity could really be able to do the smart, smart things he did. And that smartness of course is why he gets the big bucks.

Jimmy thought there was something suspicious about Timmy, since usually people dont brutally murder your loved ones.

But then again Timmy was a respected member of the community, and one time Timmy actually got up on stage at a school assembly, and ceremoniously donated one entire army man to an outspoken poor kid who made sure the whole school knew.

So just in case Jimmys hunch was right and Timmy was satan incarnate, he would have to try hard and find some convincing evidence.

Kimmy had recently quit working for Timmy, and she had some pretty horrifying stories to tell Jimmy about the way she was treated. Jimmy figured hed keep it simple, and he would confront Timmy about how he was obviously not living up to the minimum wage laws set up in america.

‘Foul beast, you are supposed to pay 5.75 an hour, Kimmy says she got 20 cents a day’ he valiantly proclaimed as he held up her paycheck receipts.

‘Look at this line.’ Timmy pointed to a line on the floor in his factory that surrounded three little girls whose hands scrambled to mold the products, their hair matted onto their heads with sweat, their elbows a mishappen knot tying together two tiny twigs, their fingers calloused and crooked, a look on their face of robotic detachment.

‘Everything on the other side of this line is the People’s Gloriously United Republic of Democratic Awesomeland. The minimum wage is 20 cents. These lovely ladies can leave whenever they want of course.’ he said with an enormously smug grin. The shack was in the middle of a desert, with no promising work opportunities, or water, for hundreds of miles.

‘Ill show him’ Jimmy said as he recruited one of the girls to work in his new factory, on good ol US of A soil, at good ol US of A 5.75 an hour. He invested his life into this new factory, since it would show once and for all that the values cherished by america are the ones that will always prevail (as americas continued prevalence obviously shows us)

After twenty minutes, he was completely bankrupt and his stockholders demanded that he stop pampering the workers and start recruiting some subcontractors in asia to take care of his labor for him. They demanded that he markup the prices 300% and they demanded that he make up some advertisements that made his product look way cooler than it really was.

Jimmy ran away screaming into the woods and i havent seen him since.