I love it. I felt like I was the narrator when I read that, nobody really seems to write that way anymore.
You know something though, it almost seems like an excellent way to begin or end a book more than a piece of its own.
Nice, Rainey. Very nice.
You’re a sneaky one, rainey.
I like the way you downplay your formidable mind.
This bar, this place, reads strangely familiar.
Very well written. It flows, free of pedantic punctuation. I know ghosts are a human vanity, and yet, convincingly integrated into the prose.
Thanks everybody. Just sort of experimenting. I just finished reading Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying, an amazing work, if you haven’t read it lately (and even if you have), broken into chapters with each chapter told from the point of view of a different character – 15 characters in all. Each character is kind of thinking out loud, rather than speaking or writing, so it’s kind of a stream of consciousness thing. Very compelling. Anyway, just thought I’d put a few sentences together in a similar vein.
(Thanks for noticing, San. Not about the mind, of course. The other thing.)
Well described Rainey. She any relation to the kite-surfing blonde…? We could double date.