Love: Is there a special person for each person?

Do you beleive that there is one special soul mate for each person and have you found yours?

  • MALE: Yes and I found mine
  • MALE: Yes, but I am still searching for mine
  • MALE: No, this is a myth
  • FEMALE: Yes and I found mine
  • FEMALE: Yes but I am still searching for mine
  • FEMALE: No, this is a myth
0 voters

Do you beleive that there is a soul mate, a special person, for each person. Do you beleive that for each person there is someone who is intended to be their mate?

There is a philosophy that says, each person has one special soul mate and that when you find them, you know them. This philosophy says that many, many people fail to find their person and/or end up with the wrong person. This philosophy says that people lose their one special person due to selfishness or by getting seduced or distracted by other people or other things, and that the loss is always felt for the rest of their lives.

I think that some people get along well with lots of different people, whereas other people are only compatible with a certain type of person, and when they meet that rare type, it ‘feels’ as though they have found the needle in the haystack… But over-all, I think “soul mate” is just a way to make monogamy/exclusivity sound mystical/special/better.

And worse than that. It reccomends Monogamy in completely the wrong way. If their is an advantage to Monogamy it is that you can develope an unusual closeness with another person. The thesis of soulmates actualy makes one feel like someone is wrong if any relationship development occurs, “after all it should all happen naturally.” Yeah, bs. All in all it’s a pretty descrutive myth.

Also, since we CANNOT possibly meet and get to know all people around the world to find our so-called soulmate, then how do we know that it is not other causes that make the relationship work? In an article I’ve read, the main determinant of who you’re going to end up with is proximity—we are more likely to date and have a serious relationship with people we could see on a regular basis—rather than with a long-distance love.

But what of “Fate”?
But what of “Destiny”?

Fate brought us together. It was our destiny. The accident by which we find our one special person, the strange, bizzare, seemingly random flow of events that leads us together, is baffling. And when we look at it, it is a miracle we ever met at all. And when we met, it was a miracle that we recognized one another as our soul mates. And looking back on it from years in the future, we marvel at the chaotic mystery of love. The strange attraction that blossomed into life-long love.

This story is repeated over and over again. How can anyone deny it?

There is no such thing as fate or destiny. I would expand but I must go. Someone else feel free to take it further.

I don’t think that there is a “soulmate” for each person. since a person is not like a table, that a person can have an everchanging personality over time, it means that there must be a range of personalities (over time) that can match up to that of the first person. furthermore, the process of “getting together” is a rather lengthy one. even granted that there is a particular female personality for a particular male personality (at a specific given time), the time taken for the getting together process to finish (if it ever does) is sufficient to let the two persons adopt a new personality in order to match.

If there were a special person “out there” for each of us, then the chances of us finding that person among 6 billion others would be practically nil. Moreover, what mechanism is it that could ensure for every person on this planet, he or she will have exactly one other special “soul mate”?

Given the tiny sampling of women I knew before I married, I suspect there are millions of women “out there” that I could have fallen in love with, and cared for just as deeply as I now care for my wife. Do you remember the old (as dirt) song, “It Had to Be You”? Well, I’d have written that song a bit differently: “It didn’t have to be you. But it was you. And now that it is you it will forever be you.” Catchy, eh?

An integral part of my moral outlook is the contingent fact that you could have been my brother, my wife, or even me. It didn’t have to be you nor did it have to be me. And given that I could have been you, what I do to you I do to my contingent self.


Dr. Caveman

The problem is if you examine you meeting of any other human being you'll find it was an incredible coincidence, even if its not an incredible person.

I mean you go to a sporting event, and you sit down next to an average joe. What’s the chances that both of you would choose to attend the same game, and that beyond that you would get consecutive tickets. Work out the numbers and its really quite increadible that you and this particular human being are sitting side by side. This is the lottery paradox agian- where did that thread go?

I think outside of physical life where dead/unborn souls reside, people meet and socialise and sometimes agree to collaberate on a “physical situation” i.e. Two souls or indeed 17 sould agree to be either born in the same place or agree to meet up. Perhaps on a holiday…my question to you is are you philosophizing or are you lonely?
rest assured that if there is not a “the one” there may be “the 10” in which case you cant lose.

Dr. Projectile wrote:

Hi Dr. Projectile,

Are you really saying that “souls” meet-up somewhere else - presumably, each with a martini in-hand - in order to pair-up and then agree to dive together into this world? Doesn’t that sound to you like a “Just-so story”?

Besides, what are the chances that two souls destined to be together would just so happen to meet-up in that big party of souls in the sky? Or do we have to push it up another notch, so that some meta-souls met at some meta-soul party in some meta-sky and decided together to jump into the soul party, in order to meet and decide to jump together into the world?