k. in my opinion, the words ‘‘i love you’’ are abused, especially by younger people. however, i also believe that no one can try and judge someone else’s ‘‘love’’. if you feel you love someone, you shouldn’t feel you have to refrain from telling them. admittedly you’ll probably end up looking back and saying ‘‘ok, i didn’t actually love that person’’, but surely its a learning curve?
although i see the argument that the words have lost meaning somewhat, i feel generally that cynicism towards ‘‘love’’ is also wrong. who knows what love is? who can say that two people don’t love eachother? noone. so … love is subjective. if you think you feel it, then you do. any objections?
yep, exactly. and as you said, if you fall out of it, it doesn’t mean that at the time it wasn’t actually real.
also, people say that love and hate go hand in hand? maybe thats because they’re both the same thing: a degree of emotion. so if you love someone, you’re also able to hate them. just a thought.
Why is there such a stigma attatched to saying “i love you”? Is not better to enjoy your relationships rather than worry about whether you are in love or not.
I think the problem with love is that there is no inbetween. There is the traditional “i like you” and then there’s the full on “i love you.” Where’s the inbetween? Becuase there are limited other phrases to express ones feelings for another we are pressured into using “i love you” within 3 months of knowing a person. Some people go through 30 years of marriage and end up divorcing because they realise they don’t love each other. Maybe if they hadn’t deluded themselves into thinking they did love each other they would’ve got out a lot earlier than they did.
I think love is relative and two people may say they are in love yet feel different things. I don’t think it’s right that people say “i love you” and not mean it just to make the other person happy. It’s just plain lying and in the long run, much more hurtful.
How devastated would someone be if they found out that someone who had said “i love you” had come back and said “well actually, i don’t love you, i just thought i did.” I just think it’s unecessary and people shouldn’t be so insecure as to constantly need reminding of their partners feelings.
i’m not insecure about commitment but I do hold the words “i love you” in high regard. As you yourself said, everyone is entitle to give their own meaning to the words.
You are just dumbing the phrase down by calling them “three tiny words” which makes the act of saying “i love you” totally empty and meaningless. When i say it, i want it to mean something, not just for effect.
i still feel that it should be said if its thought. it shouldn’t be an issue which people should hold back about. i’m not saying it should be said whenever, but when two people want to express that they mean a lot to eachother.
i agree that puppy love and true love are two different things, but puppy love shouldn’t be thought of as a lesser love. in a way, it can be seen as the more passionate, momentary love which is more ‘‘true’’. an example. romeo and juliet. considered to be the greatest love story of all time. did they get to live a long and full love? no they didn’t. but thats whats so great about it. it didn’t go sour. it was stopped in its prime. it is the ultimate puppy love.
excuse me for being cynical but lets not get too wishy washy here. yes romeo + juliet is a nice story, very tragic etc. but do you honestly believe they are up there in the sky having the time of their lives together?
No. i thought not. They are rotting away in a coffin somewhere. Certainly in the Christian tradition, in heaven, you will recognise no-one, so bang goes that theory.
romeo and juliet is not wishy washy. they aren’t in heaven. they no longer exist. but the time they spent together stopped their love in its potential stage … and thats the beautiful part.
i don’t think a lot of ‘‘unrequited love’’ is actually love. well, i suppose thats hypocritical but i know i don’t consider love to be love unless you know someone. so i would never say i loved someone i didn’t know. on the other hand, how do you know when you know someone? if you see what i mean. as ben said, people can suddenly stop loving eachother after however many years of marriage. thing is, we’re all always changing. so something you ‘‘love’’ in someone could suddenly leave. or suddenly appear.
sorry, off on my own tangent there … what i was trying to say is that, though no one can judge another person’s love, i’d be careful. you can say you’re suffering from unrequited love when in fact you just like the look of a person. and you build them up to be someone they’re not because you don’t know them. and, in my opinion, that doesn’t count.
there isn’t one. i just think its more likely to happen when you don’t know the person. in a kind of infatuation type way. and i wouldn’t call that love.
i do know what you mean, richard. but could ‘‘true love’’ be a love which lasts through change? as in, the love is so intense, you learn to love their changes just because its them. on the other hand, some people could argue that it isn’t true if it changes. ie, true means everlasting and therefore always the same. hmm … i’m confused too now.
is dont think you can say that; ok yea, its a chemical stimulas still directed through thought.
Love must be rational! raw rational.
nice.
i think love is, to me, directed in two ways: one, you say it casually like “i love cake” but thats always said in a “i like” fashion. The truth raw “i love you” statement, is more akind to sex and i like of there mind. if one of them is missing love loses its meaning - thats divorce! once the body and mind of someone else is explored, to the full - bordem sets in, and there are so many more to plant your seed.
Plz tell me how you have accomplished exploring the mind of someone to the fullest! Forgive my sarcasm, but your psychoanalysis must be known around the world…
I do agree with the fact that in some relationships do tend to get stale, but have you concidered that there is a lack of communication? The mind is a wonderful thing, and no matter how “dim” you may think a person is, they are unique in themeselves.
Now im not arguing that you are wrong. Im just stating that it would be impossible for you to know completely the mind of another. How could you? For I amcertain that they themeselves are still questing for that knowledge.
In my opinion, love is very relative. And you never know at the beginning if it’s going to be a great love or a crush only.
My own definition for love is not only if you feel attrackted my someone. It’s much more like you would give your life to save your partner. Love is not egoistic. It’s social. You think of how to make the beloved one smile etc etc…
But how long it lasts is the other question. And I think to fall in love with someone doesn’t happen so quickly. As for me, first I have to see what kind of person it is and to know it very close… but of course You can’t tell your heart if to fall in love or not
I just think that love is an emotion. As in Energy in Motion. It is hard to grasp. There is true love, like from Mother to Child; and forced love, like husband to wife. Or maybe my concept of love is fucked up. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that alot of us assume that love is what has been written in the storybooks. And we get crushed when it isn’t the way it is in the movies, or novels.
This is a strange one. Sometimes theres someone that is perfect for you, in everyway, if that loving feeling isnt there though, it doesnt matter. Perhaps its some energy the mind has, if there the same (like magnets) they wont attrack, if there energys are different (like magnets) theyll attrack. Anyways, i couldnt say; i dont have the courage to even say “i love you” to someone, with any real meaning. But perhaps its like Freud thought, you’ve found the perfect match in that he/she is the closed thing to your mother/father figure.- when you notice that some people (although they could get a good looking mate) seem to always go for plump people; Many people fall in love with just blondes, some brunette etc etc - perhaps we do just wont a young version of mam or dad.
Plz tell me how you have accomplished exploring the mind of someone to the fullest! Forgive my sarcasm, but your psychoanalysis must be known around the world…