mangos and pizza cutters

After work last night I had decided to run to the gas station across the street from my building to see if I could find anything interesting for dinner, because I actually had a bit of cash (I’m waiting on my first paycheck, two more weeks, so cash is scarce just now) and I’m sick of cotto-salami sandwiches and ramen noodles (ah, the poor (wo)man’s feast). I decided on a pizza that shall remain nameless (why should I advertise for them? I’m not getting paid for it) and happened to walk past the cooler with all of the malt liquor. A lovely shade of orange caughty my eye, and upon looking closer I discovered something called Hard Mango Punch.

mmmlicious mmmango.

Now, buying alcohol when I don’t have much money is not something I would normally do, but relaxing with a movie, pizza, and a couple drinks sounded wonderful, so I indulged myself and bought a six pack. I went home, opened a bottle and laid about my apartment for awhile, wasted some time conversing with Bitchface (aka Heidi, aka my best friend), then felt the grumblings of hunger begin. I turned on the oven to let it preheat, and ran down to the laundry room to throw in a load of clothes. When I returned to my apartment, I promptly removed the pizza from it’s packaging and threw it in the oven, then went and threw myself into a chair in the living room, grabbed my drink and was just about to take a good pull, when it struck me -

“I don’t have a pizza cutter. Hm…a knife…fuck, I don’t have a knife either. Scissors? I’ve cut a pizza with scissors before…but my scissors are too small…well…shit.”

This entire situation struck me as ridiculously silly, so I sent a text to the Bitchface, explaining to her my dilemma. Her response was that I should just eat the pizza whole…


My response? Hell no! I’ll get burnt! Unless I want to eat cold pizza, and I most certainly do not! Cold pizza is for breakfast, not dinner, damnit!

Well damn. By this time my drink was gone, so I grabbed another and started rummaging through my extremely emtpty silverware drawer and, lo and behold, I found tools! I own one of those big, solid metal spatulas like they use in restaurants, and it popped into my head that I may be able to push the spatula down into the pizza, then grab a small pan and knock it a few times to make sure it went through the crust. Ah yes, the chisel effect. :smiley:

Pizza cutters are wonderful inventions, yes they are, but there’s nothing a buzzed-up, poor chick can’t do with limited tools and a few moments to think. That pizza looked like it had been cut professionally, it was a thing of beauty.

I was so proud of myself, I had to open another bottle.

Will you marry me?

No, Xunz, but I’m flattered you asked :laughing:

Hahaha Blurred, yes, the pizza cutting dilemma ain’t funny [-( and yes, fruity alcohol is yummy stuff… give me a passionfruit cider any day. :stuck_out_tongue: