This post may sound pointless but they say manners can only be learnt as a child. So does that mean children with no manners will never have any? The little “please” and the big “thank you” are just words. In the ILP some dont have manners, some do. I think even here its important as you never know the feelings and moods going on in most peoples lives here.
Its apart of culture to have manners, so with todays life goals of making capital are we seeing a decling culture at the same time as prosperty in material gains? It would annoy me if i worked in a buisy supermarket and had to say “thank you” day in, day out everytime someone gave me money. Money that was lining someone elses pocket.
Its like good habits and bad habits. Nobody is born with manners. It is easier to learn good habits right off the bat instead of trying to break bad habits at a later time.
Now if a child has bad manner, then the parents are to blame. If an adult has bad manners then he or she is to blame. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves at some point.
I think manners are very important but thats because I was raised with such values. I have high esteem and respect for my parents and so I take after them.
I think what manners always come down to is respect for other people, and when alone, yourself.
It is really a matter of upbringing. I noticed how some friends of mine acted around girls and I was absolutly disgusted. Imagine a 17 year old kid I knew making fart jokes and burping infront of girls. Personaly I feel that shows no respect, or class. It’s simply disgusting and obviously they don’t think it is. In society there is a social consciousness that one should be aware of, I value this social decorum because a lack of it is at times offensive and in most other cases it’s simply repugnant.
Yet it’s still all a matter of upbringing. I had a buddy over my house once and he used the word “cunt” infront of my mother. I could not tell you how embaressed and at the same time appauled I was. But I could understand that it’s simply not a part of his consciousness. When over his house his father was making fart jokes. A 45 year old man. My father would have been revolted. It’s a matter of values. I respect my father and model after him incorporating the values he instilled in me. Same for goes for my buddy.
As we grow up we have to become aware and concentious of these things. Not only is it courtesy and respect but its culture. What culture depends on your backround. But civilized culture transends all ethnicities in the civilized world.
A good argument against having manners doesn’t exist, because if you don’t care about manners, why would you take the time to explain yourself?
In all seriousness, I don’t think it would be a stretch to say that there are times when it is beneficial not to be courteous. If one were to find himself in these situations more often than not, then perhaps it would be beneficial not to be courteous.
So to answer Kesh’s original question:
I would say that it has to depend upon what you personally find important about life. Personally, I like manners.
A debate about courtesy is ultmately going to go down the same path as a debate over morality, and we all know what a headache that can be.
I’m simular to TheUndergroundMany buddy. I was brought up in a house were the common language was that of been mocked and swearing. “F’ck you!, F’ck off!” were just ways of conveying emotion. When im with friends of a simular disposition its the same, they mock me, i reply: “f’ck off ya testicle” or something. But with my girlfriends parents (who are demi-catholics) i have respect and wouldnt dare use the same vocabulary. There simply isnt any benefit in being so.
To line it with morality isnt necessary, id aline it with common empathy and respect. Research shows that although cognitively we are a closed system onto ourselves, to each his own is not the case here. We feel sad when we see others close to us so, and embarressed if our mannerism’s cause others discomfort, many people maybe ignorant about the needs of others, they are the minority. Overall altruism prevails, if it didnt all hell would brake loose.
I think manners are essentially learnt when we are small but they can be learnt and unlearnt later in life too depending on our circumstances. And manners are not learnt from just one person but a whole society. I think we learn manners more from just watching people behave and the ensuing results, rather than from someone teaching us so.
Personally I think that manners are like bad language. When we use manners appropriately we come out looking good otherwise not. Also, when you work at the supermarket, you get paid for working for your company and not for saying please’s and thank you’s, so don’t criticise the money that your company makes, just 'cause you find saying thank you’s and please’s uncomfortable. The formalities and manners need to be taken into account but that does not mean you go and inconvenience yourself in the process by uttering too many please’s and thank you’s. You need to be mannerly towards yourself too.
