Mans need to share

I’ve always noticed that whenever I’m expriencing something beautiful something wonderful that I always feel the need and have the desire and wish to have someone I care about share in the exprience with me. Why isn’t it enough for me to enjoy the moment on my own? Why do I feel that I may only have true joy from the exprience if I’m able to share it with a loved one?

I feel that mans nature is programed to be gregarious. I can understand the biological and evolutional argument for wanting to be with someone else in order that the species reproduce. But I don’t understand why I can’t find true joy from something that brings me joy if I have no one to share it with. This has nothing to do with procreation. This is about love and mans need for it. About interaction with his fellow man. Why? What are the reasons for this strange phenomenon?

It’s lonely at the top…

Hahaha! You’re funny! That’s not true. Our happiest and loneliest and sadest moments are enjoyed and borne alone respectively. Now, when someone says when he’s happy he finds the need to share that’s true, but not in our happiest moments, we don’t, we have actually no need to share in our most blissful or heartrending moments. If you ever saw some divine happiness or someone tore your heart apart, you’ll know what I mean.

It’s just you, dude. I never feel that way. When I find something beautiful, I want to keep it to myself, generally. Humor may be the only exception for me.

EDIT: This was toward the original poster.

And retar…I mean BeanJean… does your post reply to She™?

Say that to TheUndergroundMan, why are you saying it to me? Since your post follows mine, it’s understood and that you mean that for me, when in reality you mean it for TheUndergrondMan. So, address him in your post or there’ll be confusion.

I respectfully disagree. Take for example a family. A mother is at home with her child and he does something purly heart rendering. When her husband comes home she’s all ecstatic “oh honey how I wish you could of seen him today. He did the most wonderful thing I wish I had a video camara to have shown you. ect…”

These moments somehow feel they would be better if they could be shared, wouldn’t you agree?

I just read something Polemarchus wrote in another thread and I quote:

This is precisly what I’m reffering to.

Yes raf, humor is a wonderful thing, a brilliant majestic thing, yet why arn’t we able to truly enjoy it on our own?

Then you haven’t seen bliss nor real pain. By the way heartrending means heart breaking not heart rendering, I’m not sure if there’s even a word like that. Anyway…

The quote ”A truly solitary laugh is not a laugh at all, but a snarl of isolation.” must have been said by a cynic. I don’t have to believe what is not right. I remember reading that joke about soaps and the hotel at that other philosophy forum. It was sooooooooooo hilarious it gave me stitches on the sides and I remember I was alone at home at the time. Would you say my continuous laugh was a snarl of isolation? No! It’s true that you can’t really laugh very loudly if you’re alone, but you can still laugh quietly at a hilarious joke.

And, “Sorrow can be borne alone, but joy has to be shared.” does not come in the context of real happiness in the heart because I think that a truly happiest moment is in thinking which can only be alone. If happiness didn’t exist in thinking alone then our body chemicals would be in disorder all the time because balance would be limited to interaction with others which can only be limited and also dependent. Gotta go…

beenaJain makes a good point… why just the other day I was driving to work and was thinking about a situation where someone’s e-mail address had possibly been taken over by an intruder… I thought of car-jacking, high-jacking, and as it concerns e-mail accounts – e-jacking. I busted up laughing, it was so sudden I surprised myself. Easily amused, I suppose. I felt silly laughing all by my self, but I didn’t feel my laughing was a ‘snarl of isolation’ – felt good to laugh.

I think Rafa makes a good point that people are kinda greedy and want to hoard things to themselves. But I also agree w/ Underground… sometimes things are better shared. Like organized religion. No, wait…

Who are you to question the authenticity of TheUndergroundMan’s or anyone else’s personal experiences?

This is one of those concepts that can be equated to the concept of Type A (extroverted) and Type B (introverted) personalities. If you accept that concept then introverts will be happiest in solitary soul searching and reflection etc. And extroverts will be happiest with other people.

And how does sharing a beautiful sunset with another person detract from your ability to admire its beauty?

How does sharing some personal truth you’ve discovered with another person detract from its meaning to you?

If people are truly at their happiest in thought, why can’t sharing your thoughts with some one else and contemplating their thoughts that they have shared with you bring you even more happiness.

Many people would argue that people are at their most depressed while deep in thought.


I too am often times compelled to share my moments of joy with others, to my ultimate chagrin I might add because, as I have discovered, it is in this act of expurgation of private events that seems to diminish thier importance in my mind or otherwise my subconcious, so that once I have divulged myself of their secrets they no longer have the same prominance they did to me beforehand. I dont really know if this has something to do with what rafa alluded to or rather what I incurred from his statement about keeping these things to himself, but ultimately I think it does. It seems that these events or these details can and should be considered selfishly under priorities of the individual expirience, and because their nature is possibly “unsharable” to an ultimate degree it is better to keep them pure by staying silent about them, or to share them carefully. To do otherwise is to misunderstand their importance. This is obviously my point of view.

As for humor, I laugh by myself fairly frequently, and I do not think Polemarchus’s quote is blatantly false. If you read it again it says " a truly solitary laugh" And so I ask what is meant by “truly solitary”? If you infer that it means, the sorrow and despair of complete isolation, which reading it seems to suggest, then in fact it could be true, and not just the comment of a cynic, although I do think only a cynic could be laugh in that manner. Of course that definition of “truly solitary” is not one I would agree to as a universal definition, but that is something else entirely.

You fool! I’m NOT questioning anybody’s authencity of experience, just reasoning that perhaps one might not have experinced real bliss or real pain, nothing wrong in that. Don’t talk like that.
As to sharing other stuff together, I think you missed the point I was making that happiness consists in sharing but REAL happiness or real pain only exists in thinking. You even prove my point when you mention a depressed.
As to sharing thoughts, the fact that we don’t have telepathy in the real sense like animals and so we cannot share our HAPPIEST moments with others in thought, isn’t that precisely why animals don’t get schizophrenic and so are not as intelligent or imaginative as we are, because they don’t undergo much turmoil?