Married vs. Single? Which is better?

Marriage, is it all it’s cracked up to be or is another dream that ends in dissapointment when you realize two insecure people have come together to form one boring union. And as far as kids, are they to be the sunshine and joy in your life or are they going to make you miserable, move out first chance they get and forget your phone number?

Being single isn’t all that great but at least you only have your own miserable life to worry about instead of adding to it?

Or am I wrong? Would I be much happer if I just found the love of my life, had 2-3 kids, spend weekends at park and Leggo land and just got on with it?

Is it possible that all my misery is summed up in and would be resolved through meeting someone who loves me?

Married. Absolutely, positively, come hell and high water, in sickness and in health. Married.

Well - as long as you’ve fucked around a lot before you do, to get it out of your system. And can find someone you truly/deeply/madly love.

If not.

Single. Absolutely, positively, come depression and hangovers, std’s and pregnancy scares. Single.

What a shocker - Bessy jumps right in on the married thread. Okay, after being married forever, I can tell you this much: Marriages have their life. Let me explain. When you take those vows - you usually mean it - for life, that is. But in reality, a lifetime is not realistic to most people, which is why there are so many divorces. I am not saying it can’t happen, but it is more than a little difficult. Even the ones that are happy are challenged.

Married for the sake of having and/or raising children is ideal, but as time wears on pressures of money, and the very business of life turns the romance inside-out making it almost impossible to hang in for the lifetime vow you signed up for. I say this much to you youngsters: Marry, but, for godsakes, be at least thirty. You really don’t know who you are until then… you think you do, but you don’t - and you will have so much more to bring to the table - and have fewer regrets knowing that you have gotten to know yourself and what you really need.

There is no ideal for everyone, but parents being married is lovely for the children… They say that that marriage “the second time around” is the best one, but considering those will never truly have the pressures of the first marriage it is impossible to compare them. Single? What’s that? Sorry, I can’t remember.

Is this realistic for women? Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock…(fertlity drugs are expensive!)

So are lawyers…

Thank you Tabula this really helps…er…no…wait-- it totally doesn’t at all actually.


Glad to be of service… :wink:


Unless you want 7 kids. I had three more kids over 30. What is the big deal? You have plenty of time…

And most people under 30 aren’t worth marrying and need a few more years to develop sufficient character that the marriage may last. Most people who marry young marry for 1 of 2 reasons

  1. Pregnancy
  2. Boredom

Marrying someone as similarly underdeveloped (emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, whatever) as you will not solve your boredom, unfortunately.

I’ve never been married, but look forward to being in a position where I can marry someone.


For never being married you are certainly clear on things. Good for you.

Miss PhilosphyGirl,

Keep in mind, if you marry you won’t be albe to flirt with Detrop, Someone, and Ben (only when i’m away :slight_smile: ).

I don’t mind married women flirting with me too…


I don’t mind that either ben


of course you probably can get more brownie points for flirting with ben than with me.

btw, ben, I think your glass should be at the “halfway mark” that way you can ponder whether it’s half full or half empty.

I agree.

You shouldn’t marry until you know who you are and know what you want.

Also, there is nothing more lovely than marrying the person whom you adore, and nothing more heart wrenching than finding out that you have married someone who isn’t right for you. After you have their children, it becomes so painful. Choose carefully. Very carefully.

married with children gives you a lot less time to worry and wonder if live is worth living.

Yes, but you must center yourselves on your relationship while raising them or


the relationship you started with is gone.

And good ridance to it.
Relatonships need to evolve, not stay where you started.


Being open-minded is always relaxing and good, on the other hand, some people are already wondering whether you (or anyone who thinks like you) will say the same thing if your future spouse flirts with other men.

hmmmm. Shall we do another thread on flirting? I say flirting is flirting and fuking is fuking. Never the twain shall meet. Some of us just are flirts. Nothing wrong with a little harmless eye-batting as long as your pants stay on. :wink: