society would never allow anything that threatens its existence, and an option other than monogamy would. … ideally, two people who come together are raised by different people and families,to ask them to live together as two people in perfect Harmony forever is pushing it too far.
Then why are you back posting here? recruiting more members for your own philosophy forum… only to have them run back here in their droves because yours is just full of people blowing hot air and bad gas
Anyway, about monogamy. I read the first page and a half of responses here , and well…I don’t have any specific responses. Can this question be definitively answered? At the end of the day, all I know is that monogamy doesn’t suit me while it seems to suit others just fine. I’ve come to the conclusion that this isn’t a question of natural/unnatural, broken/not broken, the simple fact is that some people are suited to monogamy and others aren’t, and while I’m sure there is some technical explanation about brain chemistry that would break it all down, it still comes down to, “It is what it is”. I’m beyond worrying about whether I’m a genetic dead-end and that’s why I don’t desire a family unit as strongly as some say I should, or whether anyone who thinks monogamy is our natural state is just a fool lying to themself. People are different, we prefer different things and situations, and this is all part-and-parcel.
Kris and myself have many similarities… must be the NA blood
I just don’t understand your need for the profanities and ad homs towards others, because otherwise your posts would not warrant you for a ban - do you despise/disrespect others that much?
Just remember that the women feel pretty much the same way as you. That is Why we date and not commit when we first lay eyes on each other. We need to do a dance of learning and trusting before sharing our souls. So don’t sweat the dating part, you are not commiting you are testing. A three year relationship is not that long of a time. At least you found out early before decades were committed. You will be fine if you remember the lady feels threatened just as you do. No rushing ,no falling ass over teakettle in lust or love. Just a dance of learning. Keep that in mind when you see a possible future prospect.
I believe I have enough love for a number of women, but not the malevolence to do it behind their backs. I couldn’t share a woman with any other men though.
On a sidenote, the mere thought of a woman I loved cheating on me would cause me to implode with rage and jealousy. Hope it never happens.
Edit: Actually, I don’t think I would want a number of women. It’s foolish of me to even suppose a single woman lacks enough sustenance for me.
Never, never be anything other than what you are. If monogamy isn’t your choice, then it isn’t your choice. Period. There is no choice other than what’s ‘natural’ for you. I won’t move any farther from my pedestal than you will from yours. That’s life in all it’s myriad forms.
I say this, yet I deplore the results of relative morality.
Trevor, ever notice in photos of Mormons and other groups that allow or require multiple wives , just how miserable the man looks? Think about that. And this is a woman giving you this tidbit
Hi, Lady K.!!!
Near the beginning of this thread I stated that I was not moral enough for polygamy. Let me explain. From a biological perspective, morality enters minds long after deeds are done. I’d speculate that most people who have extra-marital affairs mate for reasons that have nothing to do with any morality other than that dictated by STDs.
Here was the situation. My brother was suicidal. My wife comforted him. Yes, she gave him sex. At first I thought the way I did back in the hippie daze. He needed that to bolster his self esteem. So what would that have to do with my own problems of jealousy or of possessiveness. Thinking thus, I found him in a bar and forgave him. But I’m a human, not a god. I could forgive but I couldn’t forget. I left home.
For any of you who think there was free love in the 60s, there wasn’t. Preferences for appearance still ruled most attractions that could lead to marriage. Group marriage in those days always seemed thwarted by jealousy.
Had I been moral enough back then, my outlook on my wife’s affair would have been–forgive and forget because I needed to.
Polygamy does seem to be the biological preference; monogamy–the social necessity. But, with due disrespect for Dawkins, biology can and does extend into so much more than what genes want.
In any relationship the female tends to be more possesive over the male for a very good reason. She is nesting and he is a vital part of that nesting. If he goes anesting with another female that will threaten the first female’s nest. males are not really one nest type of crittur they can deal with more than one nest for quite a while. Now you take 3 or more women put them in one nest for years it can get stressful for all. Each woman wants her own nest, each woman needs that male for her nest…Come to think of it most of the women in those photos look down right hellish too. Heck its hard for mothers and daughters to live together let alone strangers or friends. It is done but it sure never looks very happy. Frankly i can’t figure out how that many people can stand to live together, its hard enough with just two and kids. You know darn well nerves will be shot.