I’m standing waiting for the late bus. There are a few other people around… A drunk stumbling from a bar; a woman on a cell phone; some lady picking up pop cans to throw in her cart; a random person driving an SUV.
I forget my own experiences and motives and simply analyze.
Where are they going? What are they doing? They all have something to do… If not they all seem to be waiting. They are all serving their own purposes which for the most part are unknown to me.
Having forgot my own experiences i think to myself. Why would they have things to do? Why not just sit at home; eat sleep work and die?
why are they all toiling so?
10 minutes until the bus arrives.
The man next to me listening to his ipod is acting strange… As if he is dissatisfied with my presence he seems to be fidgeting about and in doing so sending out a simple form of body language perhaps indicating that I am acting too casual.
perhaps he is offended, threatened or afraid?
But why is he fidgeting so? It seems that he is attempting to achieve comfort.
By resolving his internal conflicts with a correctional action such as withdrawing you foot from another persons personal space or folding your arms in sternness its as if there is an attempt to place a balance in comfort.
But that is reading in too much, I can hardly know that for sure.
5 minutes until the bus arrives.
out of curiosity or boredom i frequently peek out of the bus terminal to see whether the 80-Sackville had rounded the corner yet.
A rather chubby but well dressed young man wearing a dark overcoat and leather backpack is approaching. He was clearly educated or very wealthy based on his attire, in complete contrast to myself.
I generally don’t fuss about my appearance. The clothes i wear are comfortable and fashionable in my opinion, but sadly in the opinion of many adults i might as well be the next johnny-hood car thief.
When i stepped out from the terminal to look for the bus, my head was already pointed in his direction. He was a good 20 feet away from me down the side walk, but when he saw me “pop” out, he promptly altered his course to he very edge of the sidewalk… The furthest route from me.
This is a clear example of an act of comfort stabilization i think, his motives are of comfort
The bus arrives and i get on.
I proceed to my favorite seat (the first seat in the raised back section on the left side).
To my surprise on the seat is a pamphlet titled “the touch of a master”
I read a short short story about an old violin at an auction… At first the violin sells for mere pennies but when a master violinist steps forward and plays it beautifully, the value sky rockets to the thousands.
the next page is a series of claims that the ultimate purpose in life is to give your life to the cause of Christianity, and therein you will find the ultimate comfort (you might have guessed it)
At first i think, well… That would make sense… Everyone serving one purpose instead of their own would create big things. Perhaps it might turn out to be a good thing.
Then i think, Like ants under the monolith of their ant hill they scurry; dancing in formation they can co exist without conflict and even flourish; they have evolved this way.
I place the pamphlet back down having satisfied my curiosity, then turn my attention to the population of the bus.
None are young as it is the late bus.
The one in front of me smells of beer which is not very pleasing scent. The rest of the people are paralleled on either wall facing eachother blankly… They are all thinking of something.
Something they have to do? Something they forgot? They are all unwavering in expressionless silent thought, directed aimlessly across the buss.
None of them seem happy. Their comfort is minimal at best.
The bus stops and a group of people get on. among them is a smiling blond girl living in her own world of music, text messaging and self-admiration (perhaps a bit harsh)
Everyone else on this bus has a look of boredom or worry… But she is happy… She was enjoying the moments she was spending… She was a great deal more comfortable than the others.
Is this some sort of ratio of happy people vs unhappy people? Even if completely inaccurate?
I think that is unfair to lay blame on the few who are happy as it is not their fault. But i can now venture to say that in serving our own purposes, we hope to gain a level of comfort, and thereby happiness.
It is easily concluded that their own purposes are aimed at comfort and happiness.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama answered when asked by a reporter in Australia “what is the purpose of life†(perhaps it was meaning of life but my memory fails me) he answered “to be happy”
Damn… This is some serious weight in the world of motives.
But being happy by serving your own purposes leaves many people who fail by comparison in potentially dire need.
Or maybe the reason you must achieve happiness (to completely serve your purposes) is so you can begin to serve the purposes of others.
On a bus ride earlier a thought occurred to me that if everyone was to live their lives for the sake of everyone else, everyone would have like 6 billion people helping them.
But that seems such a contrast to what i have just observed.
Damn the bus stopped and it’s time to get off. My motives now take precedence over my curiosity.
Damn i think as i walk away unsatisfied…
)