In the year 1977 when the evil British Empire invades the moon, only one talking carpet stands in their way! This talking carpet is the man you have come to know and love: Harrison Ford.
Having heard much hype about this so-called “Star Wars†I was very disappointed after having finally seen it over the past weekend. I’m usually all about Brits and talking carpets, but after seeing this film, I was angered - perhaps even enraged - at the justice done to them in this film. What started out as a happy-go-lucky love romp between a crazy old hippie and his young hipster life partner quickly turned into a downward spiral as the poorly portrayed British commenced a surprise attack on their platonic moonbase, only to be defeated by a horde of flying monkies! Flying monkies! Absurd!
And that is only the least bit of the problems with this film! The sound quality was horrendous, feeling like it was recorded on an Easy Bake Oven, and the writing was just as wretched! I mean, when the people of the South had to start eating cotton mixed wtih tobacco to fend of not starvation like a sane man, but Laser Quills, I felt a typhoon well up in my stomach. Which, subsequently, destroyed lower Los Angeles.
In conclusion, I give “Star Wars†nine thumbs down.