My beloved headbutt and I, from the second we glanced at each other, we instantly knew we were made to divorce one from another. We did not have the same neuron type: incompatible in case of a transfusion. She was zero++ and I was a grouper, but also ++. We inevitably experienced an immediate short-circuit and lightning jolt. Now it’s done, and I understood that it isn’t useful to put off to today what can be done yesterday.
But careful, because one must be creative when one divorces beforehand, there are no common goods, and one must absolutely find some for it to be nonetheless a real divorce, for the sake of argument, else the whole thing is void. So I had to think it over for quite a while. Beloved headbutt had forgotten her flip-flops at my place so I told her: “if ever you come back, I shall dump your flip-flops in the dustbinâ€. She answered: “Ooooh, you jackass, that’s blackmail!â€. I added: “maybe, but it will be your flip-flops or me!â€. She retorted: “I don’t give a hoot, but anyways you forgot yours at my place and I already put them in the dustbinâ€. All that was left for me to do was to put forward my responsive conclusions: “All right, then I will never come over to your place again, there is no point.†So there, I won the divorce case by fault and I managed to impose the amicable judgement to her expense.
But, hey, one must not imagine it is a piece of cake either. It took me a year to carry out my plan, which is a long while but not much compared to many others. The others are blockheads, they get married then they are convinced that they will see how it pans out along the way. And in fact they know very well what will pan out. What will pan out? Well it is that they will have to divorce anyways one day or another and they will be at a loss because they have not planned ahead, instead of divorcing immediately, whereupon one is assured of tranquillity.
I have a friend who has been divorcing for five years. He pays judges, clerks, and what have you, and even they can’t do anything for him. The other day he came over and asked if I had a stopper for his carafe. And I told him that I did, but since I also have the carafe, I keep the stopper. He explained, the blockhead, that he only has the carafe because his wife kept the stopper. As plain as a nose on a face… It is only now that he understands that he should have divorced before getting married, when everything belonged to him. I don’t really care, but it’s a shame one has to explain these things only once it is too late! 
