So, you have been paying attention to me and meant to try to marginalize and minimize me. That’s funny. I’m chuckling, actually.
Oh, well, you probably wouldn’t have wanted to know past me, to be honest. Some people were okay with him, since he was shy, introvertive, never really mentioning the bullshit that others did. On the internet, he called people on their shit, made full use of his introverted nature to be an extrovert and yet still didn’t manage to make any close, personal friends. He was an interesting paradoxical blend of extrovert and introvert, of shy and unsure of himself and yet completely sure of his talents, skills and abilities. Funny guy, though; wouldn’t ever talk too much unless he had something to say or just to bullshit for a bit with old friends and say stupid shit, or when he was trying to be funny; quite punny; just always trying to avoid fights and trouble.
Current me is a lot more confident in himself and every bit still as confident in his abilities, talents and skills and has successfully mixed his introvert and extrovert natures to socialize fluidly with people when he chooses to; though it’s not often that he chooses to. It takes the rare loner to get me to talk about things I don’t normally talk about, a rare mood, or just because I haven’t talked about things in a while and suddenly they come to mind. Still, I tend to stay away from most people, not because I’m anti-social, but because most people don’t have much to make it worth pushing forth the hand of friendship as I’m traveling through. I’m different than a lot of people at the same time as being so similar to them and they often find it awkward to be around me, find it hard to relate to certain things I do and say and then have their own perceptions of me based in bias whether positive or negative; they form and frame their opinions and my empathic nature often picks up on these things, especially since my awareness has expanded.
And personally, there’s a lot of people with their own agendas; not always bad, just pertaining to their own lives; and it’s not to say we don’t mix too well, but we don’t have enough similarities to actually try to be friends. Besides, who wants to be friends with everyone. Too time consuming, you don’t have enough time for everyone, etc., etc. I talk about a lot of things that most people just don’t want to hear or do want to hear, but then turn away because I can talk about those things in such excess that they go from sheer awesomeness of the thought process to culture-shock from it to having the people so interested in them just a few hours previously become so inundated by sheer awesomeness that they just don’t see it as awesome anymore. It’s really weird how that works. When so overcome by awesomeness, people just shut it off and start treating the awesomeness like so many piles of shit that they just want to not step in and get far away from.
