Deep inside I wear with pride
A rose I bought and set aside
For a babe unborn
from womb untorn
a Queen or king a knight or pawn.
Her belly rotund, fertile - fecund
How do I feel…? completely out-gunned
a servitor sidekick
cheap redneck hick
a slothful drone with a dick.
The other awakes with a cry and the shakes
a fevered brow his thirst he slakes
on syrup and potion
tincture and lotion
rubbed into skin soft circular motion.
Deep inside I wear with pride
A rose I bought and set aside
for my baby son
and my foetal daughter
(whatever we eventually decide to call her)
I almost stopped reading this poem somewhere in the 2nd or 3rd stanza and actually hit the back-button but immediately returned to the poem; and, I’m glad I did, b/c it has a great ending that is well worth it in context with the rest of the poem. It’s not that I thought the start of the poem was too weak. It’s just that I momentarily lost interest --recovering adult-child of A.D.D./A.D.H.D.-- for no reason that had anything at all to do with the poem other than the very minor fact that I normally don’t enjoy reading rhyming poetry, especially bad rhyming poetry, and most rhyming poetry is bad. Bad poetry is bad enough, but bad rhyming poetry is even worse as far as I’m concerned. But that’s not the case with this poem; I simply lost interst b/c my mind drifted early on while reading this poem, and so I impulsively dragged the mouse to the back-button but then just as impulsively decided to return to the poem and force my drifting mind to finish reading it. Well, as soon as I took up reading it again, my drifting mind stood still for the entirety of the poem, and i’m glad i returned to it, b/c it is a good poem whose middle may be a tad soft but whose start is strong and whose finish is even stronger. Kudos on the closing stanza - you penned/keyed a superb end-stanza, which is a difficult task whether or not in-rhyme.
