My sister died 5 months ago. Her death was very hard on all of us–feelings became paramount, but not all feelings were understood.
My sister’s cancer wasn’t diagnosed until after she’d reached stage 3. This wasn’t her fault; she thought she was allergic to her dog and didn’t see a doctor because she loved her dog too much to think about finding a new home for him. Whatever. She went through chemo and, later on, both chemo and radiation treatment, but it was really too late, by then. She quickly progressed into stage 4 and died within 2 years of the first diagnosis. I’ve said enough about this.
As she was dying, she also suffered from gastroenteritis. No one in attendance seemed to be treating that with any success. It was being treated with drugs. I suggested diet and took food to her to try to ease her suffering. Her children were trying to ease her into death, but so was I. We were all trying to give her some comfort as she died. We were all trying to solve different problems in our own ways.
I wanted to be with my sister when she died. My husband and daughter understood and agree with my need. My sister’s children didn’t and I was told to leave the house and not come back. Feelings were very high at this point. I left and didn’t go back until last Thursday.
I got an e-mail Wed. evening from one of my nieces. She said her Mother’s estate sale was that week-end and that the family was invited to preview and take what they wanted on Thursday–the next day.
Prior to that, I’d made suggestions about some of the stuff–most of which had been my Mother’s to begin with. (I’d already asked my niece to hold certain things out of the sale–until they were researched for the best price. She apparently misunderstood my offer of help.)
This is what this post is all about–misunderstanding and how easy it can be to misunderstand.
What causes miscommunication and misunderstanding? Is it because we have to label people in order to fit them into our perception of living and the people who are a part of our lives? Are we only comfortable with labeling in order to understand even family? Do we assign labels according to what we feel we know or can we accept people who don’t fit into our comfortable labeling system?
If you’d like to discuss that question, please do so.
