I’m really proud of this short story, but I think there’s something missing at the end…
Noir and Blue
The room was darkened, moonlight slid across the floor building shadow creatures from desks and chairs like dark reflections. Everything seemed two-tone, harsh black and white like in hard boiled film noir. I stood across the room from her, in the intermingling of white moon and black shadow her skin was blue, her hair, skin, eyes, soaked up the night and reflected it back on the room, she was glowing.
I took a long drag and biting smoke filled me, I must have taken half of the cigarette at once. For a moment I held the smoldering warmth inside,
then I let it go, through my nose at first but it ended up expelling through my mouth too when the amount of smoke overwhelmed me. I put out the cigarette in a nearby ash tray.
She looked at me with those eyes. Those fucking eyes. When I picked up in the hotel bar her eyes were brown and sweet, in the dark they looked like twin coals, burning black like a cigarette cherry. I thought of an old camp fire, slowly burning out and fading. She was the hearth that no longer warms, the Vestal virgin who has been used by soldiers and left to dissipate. I realized that she felt just like me.
She pulled the covers off, underneath she was naked but was revealing nothing. “Why don’t you get into bed and fuck me?†she asked.
I obliged, but only because my dick was thinking for me. I peeled the hotel towel off and stood there for a few seconds. I had to give it to her that she had the looks. She was prettier than most of the girls I fuck. She had dainty feet that curved up into a v-shape of her shaved neathers, up across a savanna of her flat stomach to tiny rises of her azure breasts tipped in violet nipples, shoulders and a slender neck lead up to the face of a youth that barely knew how to be a woman. My brain knew she was hardly twenty, maybe a little younger than twenty, that she was young enough to be my daughter, if I’d have had one. My did didn’t give a shit. Just looking at her gorgeous body and innocent face was enough to get me half-hard, the look of sultriness that she played got me the rest of the way there.
I crossed the room and lied down next to her, she wraps her hand in mine and I feel like a giant. The cheap sheets beneath us are bleached into submission they scratch my back, but she makes it feel like satin. She looks me in the eye, but doesn’t kiss my face, she instead goes lower, her tongue trails across my chest. I spoke through my teeth, “I don’t even know your name.â€
“My name whatever you want it to be.†She said and I can feel her hot breath down by my manhood, it feels like smoke. “Remember back, what was the name of a chick who used to get you hot, but you never got a chance at her?â€
Truth be told, I could remember several girls I wanted to nail but never got the chance. I felt the wetness of her mouth surround me, but for some reason I couldn’t surrender to the sensations. I had to know more about her. I try to think of another question to ask, but she twists her tongue around me and all of the sudden I can’t think straight. For being such a young chick she sure sucked cock like a pro.
I did what I knew how to do. I pulled the girl up and tightly pressed her lips into mine my tongue invades her mouth. I pull away from her so hard that it hurts me and I look at her, into those old coal eyes. She wants to tempt me, she wants to fuck and forget how miserable we both are, but I don’t want to let her. For a long time we stare at each other. This time she doesn’t break it off, she just looks. The black shadows play across her face and her blue hair turns white. She’s breathing hard. I could tell she was surprised, maybe she was a little afraid of me then, of what I was capable of. “You know,†she said, her voice was quivering with anger and fear, trying to summon some venom, “you’re just a dick to me. A walking, talking dick.â€
It surprised me how deep that cut. I was angry. I wanted to turn that bitch over and treat her like a whore. I wanted to fuck her raw just to show that I didn’t feel. Then I realized, that was just what she wanted. She wanted to goad me so that she could hate me for violating her and so she could hate herself for being violated.
I hated her but I still wanted her.
The got out of bed and crossed the room. When she got up she vanished in the shadows, then I saw her again. She was a black silhouette against the white moon. Her breasts may have still been blue but I turned my eyes away. I saw a red light flicker, the lighter flame exposed her girlish face, cherub cheeks, doll lips, and brown eyes. She takes a drag from the cigarette she bummed from my pants pocket and then I can’t see her face anymore. “Alicia,†she said. “that’s my name. You know of all the old guys I’ve taken up to this room you’re the only one that’s asked my name. Most guys call me the name of their babysitter, or an old high school flame or teacher they wanted to fuck. None of them cared what my name was.â€
Old guy? I scratched my head. I suddenly felt grimy. Old and perverse.
“You’ve done this… before.†I asked, tentatively.
Alicia’s silhouette had her back to me I could see her thin form and the trail of smoke from the black cigarette. “Yeah. I go to a different hotel every time.â€
“Why? I mean you’re pretty, you could probably get a guy your age…â€
“What am I to you, Mr… Sage, was it? Am I supposed to be some kind of
project for you? Save the daughter you never had from a life of depravity?â€
“Face it, I’m your fantasy just as much as the cheerleader fetishists and the adulterous babysitter fuckers. You want to be my strong hero. I can play the victim if it gets you off, but I’m not a victim.â€
“Of coarse you’re not. Going to hotels and fucking old guys like me makes you and independent woman!†I stood up and walked over to her shadow. “You don’t know me. You don’t know the first fucking thing about me.†I look at her through the cigarette smoke and her eyes look like coals again, burning black. She looked right back at me. I picked up the ash tray and threw it into the wall, it crashed and shattered across the carpet. Alicia flinched, but she didn’t move. She just stood there looking up at me. I hadn’t noticed how small she was before.
“I think you just woke up everyone on the floor.†Alicia said, the moonlight was hitting her eyes now, her brown eyes were tearing.
“I’m sorry.†I backed away from her, now aware of my nudity I covered up with a towel. I sat on the bed, longing for another cigarette but not daring to go near the girl I almost I almost victimized. “Maybe you should just go home. Maybe we both should.â€
I felt her hands on my shoulders. She was on the bed with me again and her lips were next to my ear. “Don’t leave me alone…†she whispered the end of what she said faded into inaudible murmur.
I turned and kissed her. Softly this time.
“You were wrong,†she said between our kisses. “I think I do know you.â€
I laughed at her a little and we said nothing after that. I think we made love that night. If we did it would have been the first time since before my wife died in childbirth. When I woke up in the morning Alicia was gone. The sun hit me in the face like needles and I became painfully aware of how yellow everything was. Everything felt warm and bright. I wished it were night again. I wanted it to be dark and shadowy. I wanted the embers of a black burning cigarette.