Note to His ex-wife that he never actually delivered

Creative Forums Creative Writing
1

While you’re weighing the size of your heart
I’m lifting thousands of folders into a high cabinet

While you’re soul reflects in on itself
I’m breaking backs in the factory pack

While you note that five fingers represent five continents
I’m creating fire from sticks just to prove to you, I can

While you’re tossing dreams and decorations
I’m sweating buckets under office armpits

While you go out kissing morning
I’m off hosing down - God - a large fire

While you’re writing soft sonnets
I’m hammering nails into coffins

While you’re eating ripe melons
I’m unable to sleep

While you touch love
I’m mixing cement

While you’re painting brillant images
I’m mispelling effort

While you die
I’m going first

While you pray
I’m leaving a Will

While you breathe
I’m walking

While you are alive
I am not safe

While you remeber everything
I fade

While alimony looms
I’m under the last moon I’ll see

While your a cliche
I’m a cliche’

While you keep the children
I am the butt of the joke!!

While you laugh in the mirror
I am determind to drown myself without water

2

The poem posted on (creative writing) was honest!! very grounded and real.

Generally speaking, it represents how most women are fluff and so concerned about their feelings. Man is just man.

3

that is so fucking bullshit… men have twice or more the fluff-capability women /ever/ had! I’m just half-kidding.

liked the poem, though.

it reminds me of this country song (although I ain’t much for country music)… something about “You don’t even know who I am.” – the woman in that song was fluff, too.

4

that is just so very sad. the fact that it wasnt delivered is just depressing.
it is very true (in some cases)
so down to earth, yet written in a surreal manner.
i would love to hear more of these compositions, they arent something yu get to read every day and sigh about how true they are.

5

Solid poem… I liked it alot :smiley:

6

Don’t be daft - women have been using (and chatting about) cosmetics for nearly 4000 years while men toiled and boke their backs. Women like to pretend they’re much more oppressed than men but nothing could be further from the truth.

7

Colin

As someone said, this is a solid poem, and very much in your style of witty, slightly awkward observations.

‘While alimony looms
I’m under the last moon I’ll see’

As we’ve discussed before, one of the real fuck-ups of feminism was to fail to relinquish any of the dominion women have had over home and family for centuries. So now we’ve got a situation where women work jobs (often fulltime) but because there little expectation of men to do childrearing, and practically no help or respect offered to those who do, so many children effectively don’t know their parents as anything other than bill-payers and people to moan at to obtain the latest computer game or hooded sweatshirt. If yu’d presented this situation to a great many people at the start of the 20th century I’m sure most of the feminists would have been horrified. In fact it’d make a bloody good novel/screenplay, to take a suffragette and put them in the contemporary world.

An article I read recently of an interview conducted by a female (almost always a female) social worker with a 5 year old child whose mother had accused the father of abuse. The social worker asked the kid about 300 times over 2 hours whether or not Daddy put his finger in her vagina. The kid answers ‘no’ repeatedly, obviously getting very upset at being verbally harrassed. Eventually the kid starts crying and wails out a ‘yes’. Tombola! The social worker writes her report that the kid admitted to the abuse when interviewed. Obviously the kid must have been really, really upset about it because it took her 2 hours to finally come to the truth that her father had abused her.

Or the child just said ‘yes’ so they’d be able to leave the interview because they didn’t want to talk about such things because they never happened.

Now this is one case out of millions, but there has been an emerging pattern in disputed custody cases where the mother makes some accusation of abuse against the father, typically the accusation is that the abuse took place years ago ‘and so the child might not be able to remember it’. Or the child might not be able to remember it because it never sodding well happened, the whole thing is a fabrication between the mother, her bastard solicitor and a legal system which a) predominantly ties the children to the mother rather than the father and b) makes such accusations pretty much impossible to disprove. Clearly in this situation the welfare of the children is secondary to the more personal battle between the parents. And that’s the key issue for me, that the courts should not simply be a means for some vengeful ex-spouse (generally women because in such cases the courts overwhelmingly favour them) to dig up old arguments when it means dragging the kids through a long and arduous court case.

But of course the courts have to be seen to not be being sexist, apparently.

Bizarre, if not downright cruel and stupid. And this is from someone who wants to get married.

8

Well, I have no motivation to argue with you at the present moment. I could bitch and moan about what women are expected to be like, about how many women buy into it, and all that jazz. We could beat the candy out of that pinata all day and all night and into the next day… until all that’s left is the rope tied to a tree… then we could go grab a typical woman and hang her from it… would that make you feel any better?

Don’t get married… no woman needs this venom (not that you acquired this view of women all by your lonesome…), and if you truly feel this way about women… you don’t need a woman. Not tellin’ you what to do or nuthin’.

9

Possibly, but I imagine it’s illegal in your country. I’d prefer us to be able to move on from pseudo-feminist bias and also for us to be able to dissolve a few of the boundaries unjustly encapsulating men in today’s world. Women have broken some boundaries, and I’ve no problem with that (except in football, where they simply aren’t as good as men and should admit this), but most expectations and stereotypes of men have persisted over the last century. At the moment women have a greater number of options open to them (in western democratic societies anyway) and it’d be nice for us to be able to break down some of the unfair stereotyping of males as we proceed through history.

‘Venom’ - spleen more like. But no worries, the female I intend to marry tends to agree with me, partly because she feels that it’s patronising to women to uphold the sort of protectionism we have now, as well as to men. Inverse (or ‘positive’) discrimination solves no problems.

Tell me what to do as much as you like, I’ve no objection. This is a public forum.

I truly have a lot of respect for women, I’d argue I have more than the PC crowd who are obsessed with defending a woman’s right to do whatever she pleases (no matter how embarassing, amoral or stupid).

10

Hi,

I think you should give the letter to her, Colin. Maybe if she had known how much resentment that you have been harboring in your gut for so many years your relationship may not have gone down the tubes. She found someone else. Why? She is deeply in love. You toil endlessly, are so sad, so lonely- but mostly: so damn resentful of her. If I had more time, I would write the female version to knock your bloody socks off.

I did love the pure honesty in your piece, and being a woman it might have given me another side of things from the man’s point of view. I am the woman who is invisible; I am someone’s “other half” spending too many lonely days being ignored by a man who is never wrong and never home. Do I understand your wife? Yes, I do. But do I wish I had a man who was deep enough to express himself in verse? I do.

(Ironic. Isn’t that what you say when you get married?)

11

Your presumption that the female version would knock anyone’s socks off speaks volumes for the sexism in your perspective, made clear by your following statement:

‘the man’s point of view’ - as though there are simply two perspectives on heterosexual marriages - this is a myth invented by pseudo-feminists to try and make something sexually divisive when it need not be.

Colin hasn’t got a wife you stupid bint, the poem is fictional. You understand a fictional character entirely fabricated by Colin’s fine imagination, do you? How do you do that, I wonder?

By presuming that the marriage depicted in Colin’s poem is like your own, which it isn’t, so the comparison is spurious.

Get a life, bored housewife. Or a lover, I recomment milkmen over pool cleaners.

Nope, when you marry you almost invariably trot out cliches and inappropriately religious rhetoric.

12

someoneisatthedoor,

First of all, who is the angry bored person here? Obviously you. When someone is gutsy enough to be vulnerable here, it is rude and unnecessary to get ugly… Seeing a perspective from a man’s point of view does not make me old fashioned and I feel sorry for you if your view of marriage eliminates the notion of cliches, because if you think they are dead - think again. Get a lover? Now that is pathetic advice and the reason why marriages last about two years these days. I bet you haven’t (a) been married at all (b) have lasted a short period of time with perhaps three or four lovers, or lasted a stint of no more than 5 years with your last spouse. I would venture to say that they dumped you. You lack real feeling, real empathy, and have a twisted view of feminism. A true feminist is a woman who is allowed to be who she is… and believe me sweetheart, that may be a woman who is bored, who lives a “cliched” life and who just may need to fuck the milkman or poolboy but holds back because she is better than that. Saying that men and women have two seperate points of view is the more realistic view. THEY DO. That does not make me a pseudo-feminist and clearly puts you in dreamland.

Wake up.

13

I meant to say a true feminist is being whomever she wants to be. “Allowed” with a man is not in my vocabulary.

14

Not at all, I’m happy as Larry.

I’m not getting ugly, that’s simply your interpretation of otherwise benign words.

I didn’t say that, I said that to characterise marriage as consisting of males views and female views is absurd and gets us nowhere towards the equality (or approximation thereof) many of us seek.

I’m creative enough to not need cliches, though I admit I use from time to time (sic)

Got one, very much in love. Has sod all to do with her doing what she likes: both of us make sacrifices and compromises and are happy to do so because of the benefits of our knowing each other. That’s love, my friend, this ‘I can do what I like and you’d better damn well like it or you are a sexist’ crap gets us nowhere.

On the contrary I’ve never been married, but fully intend to be utterly monogamous to my present partner who I shall marry when finance and circumstance allow. I love her, it’s very simple. Individual freedom is never even an issue.

Balls! I’ve been dumped once, by a girl I was growing to despise (mainly due to her weakness of spirit) and would have dumped were it not for the fact I didn’t feel like destroying her.

On the contrary, just because I don’t empathise with you doesn’t mean I’m incapable of empathy, my dear. I have plenty of that, just not for individualistic time-wasters and weak-spirited nobodies.

Bullshit! Prove it.

Balls once more! That’s a liberal feminist, there’re plenty of other types of ‘true’ feminists. The individual woman, nor women collectively are the arbiters of truth and justice, that’s just liberal mumbo-jumbo. Truth and justice only exist by agreement, those who aren’t willing to compromise (i.e. not just do whatever the heck they like) have no place in politics.

Or because Otto the milkman is banging Penelope from no. 23 but whatever…

Bullshit. Men have lots of different views, depending on which man you ask. Same for women. Sometimes they overlap. There aren’t ‘two seperate viewpoints’ and if you believe that I suggest you stop watching soap operas and chatshows and seriously consider giving Otto a flash of your goodies.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

You have no idea how much you are a slave to the individualist rhetoric of your time, you think you’ve achieved so much. If your husband is that bad get rid of him, there’s people you can call, cement overcoats need not be mentioned but don’t whine in public and make hasty generalisations on the basis of your own personal experience.

15

You’ve never been married! Ha. Call me if you get to your 17 anniversary. Little boys and their illusions of life - you make me want to laugh.

16

Bess. Remember Xandermans old sig: “Never argue with an idiot… They’ll always drag you down to their level… and then beat you with experience.” unknown author

He’s just another obnoxious egotists whose come to tell us what the world is about. Sheeeesh… where do all these nutters come from?

17

km… I still love you.

18

Thanks Bess. We’ve had a plague of these emotionally stunted, intellectual dummies lately. Arrrrrrrggggggghhhh (sp?)

Anyway, enough of him/them. Where were we?

Oh, Colinsign great poem and thanks Bess for having the guts to say what you feel.

19

So not only are you sexist, you are ageist. No wonder your husband loathes you, you probably blame all your personal faults on him becuase you are just ‘being yourself’

If you are going to try to insult me please be more original. I’m not trying to tell you what the world is about, I’m explaining one of the fuck-ups of feminism. That you have nothing to contribute other than ad hominems speaks volumes about who is the idiot here.

20

That was tentative’s sig.

A