Now I know.

I thought you should know what I found out, which clear up some things that keep nagging me. Now I know.

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto

a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell , New Mexico .

This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.

However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day,

Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham, John F. Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles E. Schumer, and Barbara Boxer were born.

This piece of information may clear up a lot of things.…….

we’ve all herd the theories of alien hibreds. Cloneaid has created a new philosophy for this. But little did we know their psychic connection would create liberalism.

Al Gore
Born March 31, 1948 (age 59)

Hillary Clinton
Born October 26, 1947 (age 59)

John Kerry
Born December 11, 1943 (age 63)

Bill Clinton
Born August 19, 1946 (age 60)

Howard Dean
Born November 17, 1948

Nancy Pelosi
Born March 26, 1940 (age 67)

Dianne Feinstein
Born June 22, 1933 (age 73)

oh sure, that’s what their birth certificates say…

do you have any idea how easy it is for the roswell aliens to forge birth certificates?

it’s a conspiracy…

chem trails my ass…

-Imp

Stop right there. This is a hedge. The capitalization of “not”, so it jumps out at me. The fact that you know I must believe beforehand that those mentioned have something in common and also people I consider “bad” or scandalous. I suddenly think “ah! I knew something was wrong with those people…“alien hybrids”…that must be it! It all makes sense now because the aliens are bad and want to control our government, so would create a generation of politicians who would lead the world toward an inevitable new world order!”

Fallacies, fallacies, fallacies! One slippery-slope after another.

Suppose all those mentioned were considered favorable to all American voters, and the public in general. Would it then be reasonable to conclude that the aliens that crashed were “good” aliens, because I liked them?

The only thing that gives the statement any strength is the dependency that the reader is already considering a consipracy as possible, and all you have to do is offer a few moments and events in history as significant and suggest that they are linked to aliens landing. In correlation with the fact that I already don’t like those mentioned, its highly likely that I am seduced into “wanting to believe” and “looking for a link”, the idea inspired by the material presented.

Conspiracy theories don’t “count the misses”, as Polemarchus once put it, and I am pointing out as well the hedge involved and the reason why the theory is appealing and seductive is because it consequently (but really it was planned like that) in favor of what you would want to believe anyway.

BUT!

[cue spooky music]

Know this. It isn’t necessarily true that an alien intelligence is good, if one does exist. We would assume that another species would know, if they were more advanced, that the promotion of life is the desirable option to mindless destruction and anarchy. But this assumption is based on the thought that there is not much intelligent life spread throughout the universe, and that the human species is important. Not necessarily. This isn’t to say that bad aliens are those aliens that travel the universe killing species for sport…that seems a little excessive and costly, but that perhaps ridding a planet of its native intelligent life to possess its resources…that seems likely.

We’d call that bad, us humans, because we are all we got. But in interplanetary politics where the control of life and the technology to clone and develop it, and governments are mutually atheistic and religion is gone, there would be no “ethical” problems with the logic the aliens used when tampering in our affairs and leading the world to its end.

Nonetheless, a legitimate insight might be something like this: a full occupation of military force is not possible for an alien race which might be tampering with our government. I don’t believe they posses super-weapons or anything like that, and also that the world’s weapons programs are very advanced. Human beings, all races united and providing their own military power, would have some serious fire-power folks. Most elements in the known galaxy are destroyed in a neutron bomb war-head explosion. The atom bomb is nothing compared. Anyway, I don’t think a transport ship carrying the necessary military power is anywhere near the planet. If anything, it makes sense to say that there are scouts who have come to carry out a secondary form of termination: tampering with the government and directing world affairs into chaos and uproar…over a long period of time.

There was some marxist who said something like “it would take an alien race attacking the planet to make all men and races unite.” Yes, and that would be awesome.

So we at ILP would like to tell the aliens that we are ready and that we will come together to fight you, foul scaled reptilian creature with webbed fingers and creepy eyes.

That is what the human species needs right now; an alien threat.

All those in favor?