Officer, it happened this way...

Summaries of automobile accidents taken from actual insurance and accident forms:

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

I thought my window was down but found out it was up when I put my hand through it.

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

heh heh heh,yah i saw stuff like this before. some of the same sentances i’ve already seen from my bro getting it from a friend. i think this stuff has been circulating around the net for a while. makes me snicker…

if you had seen the stuff i actually laugh at though,all other comedy would take second place in your mind.