# Oh Maker, Maker!

**URL:** https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/t/oh-maker-maker/24558
**Category:** Creative Writing
**Created:** [March 15, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/t/oh-maker-maker/24558 "2009-03-15T20:34:45Z")
**Posts on this page:** 4
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![The\_Underground\_Man](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/user_avatar/www.ilovephilosophy.com/the_underground_man/32/111_2.png) [@The\_Underground\_Man](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/u/The_Underground_Man)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/t/oh-maker-maker/24558/1 "2009-03-15T20:34:45Z")

</div>

Here are my eyes  
take them  
so i mayn’t not see

Here are my arms  
saw them  
so i mayn’t not fight

Here are my balls  
nutcracker 'em  
so i can’t return

Here are my teeth  
grind them  
so i mayn’t not eat

Here are my legs  
boil them  
so i mayn’t not soar

Here is my torso  
feed it  
so i mayn’t not hunger

Here are my ears  
sew 'em up  
so I can’t see

Here are my lips  
bite 'em off  
so i mayn’t not speak

Here is my tongue  
pierce it  
so i mayn’t not cry

Here is my skin  
needle it  
so i mayn’t not feel

Here are my words  
curse them  
so i mayn’t not dream!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![PavlovianModel146](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/user_avatar/www.ilovephilosophy.com/pavlovianmodel146/32/544_2.png) [@PavlovianModel146](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/u/PavlovianModel146)
#### Post date: [March 15, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/t/oh-maker-maker/24558/2 "2009-03-15T23:15:54Z")

</div>

This poem is very understandable and though it is simple, many people probably identify with it at times. You should go through it though because I think you missed a few easy things typing it in a rush, for example:

“Here are my ears  
sew 'em up  
so I can’t see”

I think you were going for eyes.

And in the first stanza, you used, “Flea,” when you were going for, “Flee.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![The\_Underground\_Man](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/user_avatar/www.ilovephilosophy.com/the_underground_man/32/111_2.png) [@The\_Underground\_Man](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/u/The_Underground_Man)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/t/oh-maker-maker/24558/3 "2009-03-16T04:25:50Z")

</div>

Thanks for taking the time to go through them Pav.

No, actually I was going for ‘flea’ and ‘see.’ The first is probably a really bad pun, but the second is a deliberate mixed-metaphor. Whether or not they are effective I am still undecided about. Okay, now I am decided. ‘Flea’ is out, good call, but ‘see’ remains.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![PavlovianModel146](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/user_avatar/www.ilovephilosophy.com/pavlovianmodel146/32/544_2.png) [@PavlovianModel146](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/u/PavlovianModel146)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://www.ilovephilosophy.com/t/oh-maker-maker/24558/4 "2009-03-16T21:08:58Z")

</div>

> [@The Underground Man](#):
>
> Thanks for taking the time to go through them Pav.
> 
> No, actually I was going for ‘flea’ and ‘see.’ The first is probably a really bad pun, but the second is a deliberate mixed-metaphor. Whether or not they are effective I am still undecided about. Okay, now I am decided. ‘Flea’ is out, good call, but ‘see’ remains.

No problem, I liked the poem overall.

I can see why you are leaving, “See,” in there, I missed the mixed-metaphor, but now I get it.