online social networks (Twitter, ect)

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Zombie children…?

[brevel_monkey]

@nano-bug

Besides ILP, what social network sites do you use?

I tried to use twitter but it seemed like it was a measuring stick for how obscure I am. The problem is, I dont have a social life or a network to speak with, so strangers are who I talk to, and there isn’t much to build on. Unless I’m lucky. Even when lucky, it doesn’t turn into real life interaction.

What do you recommend for me, someone who starts off friendless at Twitter?

I’m open to MMORPG’s (Second Life) but that would take some money for computer upgrades and I’d need to know the social benifits would be a sure thing.

I dont leave the house often, so I need to find an online outlet. ILP does serve a function, but I’m looking for additional ways to communicate. Please help. Thank you.

The best place to meet people is probably in clubs. do you have any hobbies? If not, invent one arbitraily and join a club for it. Sports clubs (badminton is kind of non-sportsperson friendly), photography clubs, poetry and writer’s groups, art groups etc all have people in them. Just choose something that suits your personality and you’ll meet likeminded people. Running clubs too (don’t worry if your not fit - you won’t be the only one there in the same boat I promise).

Don’t let yourself be convinced that you have to fundamentally alter your personality to meet people. If you start thinking like that (“I have to be a bad boy cus thats what girls want”) you’ll just be feeding the anxiety causing thought processess. And anyway, it’s just not true. Its not your persoality thats the problem - its your actions. You have to be amongst people to meet them!

But to be honest: a lot of this you could have figured out yourself. About 5 years ago I had an extremely serious anxiety disorder; I barely talked to anyone face to face for three years and when I did I found it automatically uncomfortable and embarrasing. I knew where to people - but subconciously I chose not to and made constant excuses. Being clever makes it worse - your likely to attach convincing ‘rationalities’ to the problem too (I’m not the sort of person who most people get along with, most girls like badasses etc). If this is the case for you, you need to see a GP and eventually probably a clinical pyschologist: you’d be suprised how effective CBT is. The hardest part in this situation is realising that you have what is considered a medical illness: but once you accept that you do it is liberating to realsise that the thoughts that are based on irrationilties and on an entrirly curable condition.

I know its hard, but don’t worry too much about intimate relationships. They’ll happen natrually after you become more comfortable socially.

Thats about all the advice I have. Oh - apart from that internet socialising sites on their own are unlikely to help - they aren’t a good substitute for face to face contact, nor are they a paticuarly reliable place to find people to meet socially.