Patiently Waiting

Social Forums Non-Philosophical Chat
1

I’m sitting here, patiently waiting. How much time is spent in life, just waiting to hear word from somebody you care about and love? It would be nice to spend time in life, with those you enjoy the company of most, but that is not always the case, or worse, rarely the case. And how many people go through life, endlessly waiting for something that never transpires?

It gives you an improved sense of time, and meaning, to know which people count for most in your personal life, who you want to include and exclude, and how to spend time with those you are with or without. Even across the internet, it counts for something small at least. I can think of a few people that’d I want to spend more time with. But not everybody values each other accordingly, or time accordingly. There is a different value for both people, and time.

Somebody who is particularly special can consume so much of your time, and make 10 years seem like nothing. At least, that is how it was for me and my case. Years passed and they seemed like nothing, like no time at all. Some people, special people, can and will do this for you, if you recognize them and let them.

For now, I am again, patiently waiting.

2

You are again waiting, for that special person, does that again imply that this is not the first time? I always have difficulty in setting boundaries of propriety, as far as what someone may or may not consider intrusive.

Let me give my psychic powers a try. In this philosophy forum, at is diFficult to visualize a person, insofar as to determine whether that person is a male, female, young and old, one has to set store by a self description which may or may not conform to reality.

I see you as a male, with height and weight proportional, youngish. You may be a college student, or work in the office or both.

You either still live at home or recently moved out. You may fear loneliness to great extend, and probably do not like to stay at home for any length of time.

You are probably a bit on the spiritual side, as a matter of fact, may be very much so, so you are relying mostly on acquaintances to give you a jingle.

In case you are wondering, I am a bit of an amateur psychic, and am trying to visualize you to get a better picture.

Waiting can be frustrating, so don’t let me wait too long whether any or most of my descriptions fit the bill of my own approximations of You. If I am more right and wrong, then it will be a cue, for me to focus into what really is going on with You, with Your permission, of course.

Then I will be able to at least to give you an idea of what’s ahead in the waiting department.

If this is not the way you thought your OP should be responded to, you may ignore it, but give me a sign if I am unto something.

3

That’s fine. I’m mostly referring to a few people in my own, personal life, who have come and go throughout. There are special moments, memories, frozen in time, which I enjoy to remember and reminisce. And, I hope to meet a few people to form newer memories, and cherish them while they’re occurring. That is what I feel most people miss, or simply lose sight of. People take advantage of life, are privileged, and don’t understand how valuable life is, how short life is, and how important it is to spend time with those you care for, adore, and love most of all, while living.

I don’t believe in an afterlife. So every moment living, to me, should best be spent with those you really, really, really want to. However, a person cannot ever seem too desperate or needy. If you want to include somebody into your life, then are they coming to you, or you going to them? Maybe people simply do not want others to be around, or do not enjoy the company of others. For me, personally, it’s hard for me to determine. I can’t tell whether people enjoy to be in my company, or not. I rarely open myself to others, and express my deeper thoughts. I save the deeper thoughts for an outlet like this, a forum, the internet, online. Because here, I can meet like minded people, with the same interests, views, and values. I don’t find people with the same values, near to me in proximity.

This is, partially, what I’m waiting for, to share time with somebody with the same values, somebody who values Capital T Truth above all things, for example. I’d pay a lot of money to find such a person, and, spend my life with such a person. However, it seems impossible sometimes. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t find people in close proximity who would, for example, ever think of philosophy, or think philosophically. People just don’t seem to care, and I believe, don’t actually care, about the world around them, or the world at large.

People have narrow vision. They lead mostly predetermined lives. Their lives are set, according to a pattern and design, and they follow the manual. People don’t want to deviate from the manual. I can understand that. But I still enjoy to discuss such things, and other people, simply, do not. They don’t enjoy talking about life. Most people are too busy “living life”. But I don’t call that living life.

Living life, includes, to me, the company I’m referring to. For example, I used to have one girlfriend. And memories of her, are such moments I wait for. I’d love, more than anything, to see one of my exes walk through the door, smile at me, and spend time with me. But it’s not going to happen. I am not attracting the right people into my company. So, I’ve been working on this a lot. Part of the challenge of life, is attracting people into your life, who you want to share life with. And I’m working on this part.

When I was younger, I sought others, and was too needy and desperate for company. Now, I’m not needy. Instead, I want to draw people to me, rather than step toward other people, do you understand? I want to be the source of power, and not give others that entitlement.

I’d rather wait, alone, patiently, with nobody, than to go out and seek the company of those who, in the end, won’t share what I have in heart and mind. The same values. The same soul. The same type of essence, fire, drive. I’d rather die alone, than give another person the benefit of the doubt. I’ve already been down that road, giving myself to others and receiving nothing in the end. The time has come, for people to come to me, rather than me go to them. It’s time that I attract the company of my choosing, rather than to give up this self-control.

A lot of people neither work on this type of self-control, nor realize who they seek the presence of, and why. People are drawn to others, but by factors they are almost always, completely ignorant of. And I see this. And I don’t believe that others do see this. Others are simply drawn, like gravity, to a fate they’ll never understand. I understand it, and want to avoid most people, for the most part. It’s about seeking a likeness, I suppose.

4

In order to attract your likeness, you must first become the exact opposite of what you already are.

5

It’s really so difficult to reply. I think I know you, and I am probably the exact opposite of you.

I know I have had a shadow for a long time, but like a shadow it’s always there when the light is above me. And I do know the meaning of being afraid of one’s shadow.

I had the same challenge when I was a lot younger, probably your age, but I got to realize that if I delude myself into thinking that the person who went out the door maybe will come back , come back at a time when I can judge better, with more of a track record, well-------------the trouble is they never come back. They feel your uncertainty.

 And then there is the old comparison game.  And that makes things worse.

Believe it, it is better to go through that process then, if you believe in absolute love, then to have that gnaw at you, even if they despise you for that.

 But I found out, for them a despicable but true person is far better, and anyway that's how they express love.





 Ok, scratch the above.  My approach to people has suffered over the years with a large amount of skepticism as a consequence of having been inundated with pragmatism. Actually I am not a pragmatist, but an existentialist.  The difference for me lies in realizing that there are two selves, the real self and the conventional self.  Pragmatism doesn't allow for this fine distinction.

 I am not reticent into going on into another personality, like an actor, fearlessly trying to assume the being of them through momentary mutual awareness, even discounting any hope for a sustained ego constancy.  But like an actor, realizing the need to hold on to both realities, even when immersed in the reality of the other, I can't afford, as yet, to totally destroy my personality.  I think this is the point You are making in realizing Your opposite.

It is the old act of opposites, animus/anima, pleasure/pain, etc.

In other words, you feel a person is incapable of one, if he doesent hold out a totally conscious persona. Insecurity feeds insecurity, and before You know it, you are into a dependency situation.

As before, I am hesitant to proceed, for a yet to defined boundary, that is, if there is a way to proceed.

6

It has a lot to do with confidence. People seem to universally despise insecurity, anxiety, and fear. Fear is very contagious, very very contagious. And people are subconsciously very aware of fear. Fear, and hope, are more powerful, primary and primal emotions. So these emotions are more easily dispersed among crowds of people. In a church, feelings of hope spread ferociously and whip crowds into a frenzy of euphoria. Fear is opposite, sending crowds into panic.

But my point is, different people are attracted to different things, and different people. There isn’t a universally attractive person, except through social adaptability, and the ability to demonstrate likeness or opposition of others. I do believe that opposites attract most of all. Because, people are curious of strangeness. But people also fear strangeness. So opposite personalities have a barrier of fear, which is overcome through curiosity. It is curiosity that overcomes opposite personalities. And if a person does not have a strong curiosity compulsion, maybe they are aloof, then this type of person will become isolated by strangeness, and generally avoid people opposite to himself. However, this person will also not produce strong bonds, since he will find likeminded people to congregate with, but find no attraction within the group.

If two people are alike each other, like identical twins, then they will form no curiosity about each other, relative to people with opposite identities. Comfort dispels curiosity. But likeness destroys attraction, and, physical and sexual attraction. So identical twins are not attracted to each other, and definitely not sexually attracted to each other.

Two identical twins removed from birth, will first feel curiosity upon seeing each other for the first time, as adults. But they will quickly meet each other, and mesh each other’s personality together. The more they have in common, the less attraction there will be. Because sameness is what is already known, prior to awareness.

The type of attraction I’m referring to, which you seem to understand obe, is a type of artificial opposition. In order to attract a comfortable likeness, requires an oxymoron. Because attraction is not comfort, and comfort is not attraction. They’re different social benefits, within a pair or group.

In order to develop the group, and circle of associates you want, personally, then you need to begin including people who you love, adore, admire, want, and need most of all. You have to choose, hmmm, who do I want to spend my time with? Maybe nobody. But, if you want to spend time with other people, and especially people you’ve never met before, or could theoretically meet, then you need to follow social dynamics as I’m talking about. What does it mean to attract people to you? There are many reasons, but as a general rule, opposites attract. I emotionally feel like this is true, I’m trusting my heart.

7 
 Couldn't sleep well. Woke up, and saw a few lines, of Yours, and realised justice can not be given without  a fresh rested mind. Therefore, tomorrow. Now back to sleep.
8

You’re a sprinkle of fresh Spring rain on top of the glistening morning dew.

9

And the rainbow, wait, hold on.

10

Wll here I am, and I agree with you. Opposites do attract. But there is fear in this opposition of unfamiliarity. It’s interesting that the opposites which are without (in the otherperson) may be also within. This makes things more challenging, because
The opposites within cannot be recognised, relate in ways not known. How is this knowledge developed? Or can it be known by some other means,intuitively,or emphatically? If so is it a matter of degree?

Rununder the problem I am having with boundaries, which may also be called a kind of gift, is fear of disappointment, or abandonment.

And then the obvious comes into play: the rise of patience wearing thin, and the a subsequent self doubt. But I feel this is not the case with You.

11

I’m glad you mentioned that, because here’s an insight I had awhile ago. If you’re not already spending time with those you care about and love the most, right now, then aren’t you already the most disappointed or abandoned that you can be? What I’m saying is this. There are a few, or a handful group of people, who I want in my life, and nearer to me. But, most of the time, they’re not here. They’re not present. They’re not a part of my daily life. And maybe they could integrate into it, maybe not.

But, in a sense, I am already abandoned. How can you get any more abandoned then you already are? Therefore, the challenge of attracting these people, or people you’ve never met, is a general one about attraction, and attracting what you want, and who you want.

12

Abandonment is an attitude. It is sometimes a self abandonment, in the case you so rightfully pointed out. The self denies it’s own contrary, and seeks it in another person, if he is clever. But usually he rejects his opposite in others, for the reason he is drawn to it. This is sad, because, ironically, it is the other, the opposite, which is really sought.

The attitude taken towards others is frightful, because the attraction is intrinsically based on contrived situations, perspectives, and even personae.

I will be completely honest with You, because I may take this liberty based on personal experience, don’t be afraid of loneliness, letting the feeling of abandonment abate, because it is my conviction, that life, is basically a singular experience, and ultimately we have only ourselves. You are right, people will be encouraged by a show of security, and panic sets in if this sense can not be sustained.

The important people need to be assured, that a secure persona is authentic and will weather the test of time. They are really in it for themselves. This is why the golden age had such an allure, extending to the romantic age, where friends were like blood brothers, absolutely reliable$

But look around you, and there is nothing like it anywhere, the energy needed to expand into friendship has become illusive, fragmented, and political. The stasis needed to sustain relationships, have not been able to form into cohesive structures, even within the family, the community.

The results are that children too, become as their parents were, and their attitude toward meaningful
Others. Waiting for the right one to come around, may not be always so simple, for the reason, that they may not measure up, or, they may knock at the door, but we may not recognize them.

I have a feeling, that you will be able to realize the person/s that you desire to be in your social group, as a matter of fact, I am fairly sure of it, and I think your patience may pay off. Focusing on this may help when reaching that point of desperation, when everything seems lost., . Then a change can happen. This has been my experience, and have seen this experience in others, also.

13

obe, there comes a time where waiting become useless, and you have to force other people into companionships, relationships, and communities.

Because not everybody is attracted to everybody. And people are not attracted to what is never seen, heard, or known.

Unless you are a philosopher type.