HELP MENU: DECODING WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish: 49
Adventurous: Slept with everyone.
Athletic: No breasts.
Average looking: Mooooooo.
Beautiful: Pathological liar.
Emotionally secure: On medication.
Feminist: Fat.
Free spirit: Junkie.
Friendship first: Reformed slut.
New-Age: Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned: No BJs.
Open-minded: Desperate.
Outgoing: Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional: B*tch.
Voluptuous: Very Fat.
Large frame: Hugely Fat.
Wants soul mate: Stalker.