There are as many ways to be in love as there are people. The trick is always to come as close as you possibly can to someone who comes as close as they possibly can to you. And that might work out well if life wasn’t always awash in contingency chance and change. You either grasp the full signifigance of this or you do not. Until one day life itself either brings it into sharper focus or it does not.
Like the day you grow old. We all experience it in as many different ways as it is possible for any human being to experience it. And thus the extent to which this can be shared with others will always be infinitely problematic. Or will be for all practical purposes. The only consolation being [for some] that it is only a matter of time before we all endure it.
And then the truly scary part where people can have you committed to a mental institution because they think your behavior is strange enough to warrant it. Even though in this case it does seem strange enough to warrant further investigation. But then lots of folks would then point out the obvious: that mine is too. Me among them.
Lives can get so fucking complicated. And watch them fall apart. And somehow that has to be reconciled with others. And [at times] with the powers that be.
Also, did they jump or were they pushed?
at wiki: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kings_and_Queen
trailer: movies.nytimes.com/movie/313596/ … n/trailers
KINGS AND QUEEN [Rois et Reine] 2004
Written in part and directed by Arnaud Desplechin
[b]Nora [voiceover]: I’ve always thought that love means never having to ask. My second husband claimed the contrary. He wasn’t very considerate. When I complained, he would say, “Just ask.”
…
Here’s what you hear on the machine when you call Ismael: “This machine doesn’t take messages. I can’t be reached. Mercier and Landeau of the IRS, you’re crooks. I’ll never pay you! It’s a scandal to deploy such idiotic acrimony in hounding a respected citizen. And an artist! Fuck you, Mr. Landeau!”[/b]
The shrinks [and a “third party”] have him committed.
[b]Man from the hospital: Sir, that rope in the living room, what’s that for?
Ismael: What rope?
Man from the hospital: The one with the noose, hanging in the living room, with a stool below it.
Ismael: I’m not suicidal, okay? I understand, you see the rope, the chair and leap to conclusions. But I just need to know that I can do it. Though I never will. Isn’t there something similar in Cicero or Seneca? Or the Stoics?
…
Doctor [to Nora]: His bowels are in such a state that we did nothing. His belly is devastated. We sewed him back up, that’s all.
…
Elizabeth [Ismael’s sister]: You missed Christmas.
Ismael: True, but I brought presents.
Elizabeth: It’s July.
…
Elizabeth [after receiving the Christmas present – a check – from Ismael]: What am I supposed to do with this?
Ismael: It’s to help you succeed in what you want to do.
Elizabeth: But I make money. You come to offer me money? Can’t you fucking ask yourself what I really want?!
Ismael: That’s what the money is for. So you can do what you really want, without wasting time painting plates.
Elizabeth: “Wasting time”? What do you know about what I think about saving MY time, saving MY life.
…
Elizabeth: I don’t want to be a painter! I want to be a mother! It’s not about the money. I’ll take it [for the twins] but your concern for me…“Besorgen” in philosophy, right? You’re the little king of your world, playing with your soldiers, leaving me like a dog![/b]
One of those conversations. The ones I chose myself to pull back from completely.
[b]Ismael [of Nora to the shrink]: Just think, a murderess! She’s killed but I’ll survive!
…
Nora [on phone]: Chloe. Believe me, he’s melting away. It’s horrible. He’s lost 25 pounds in three days. He’s melting away before my eyes. You have to come. He’s in pain. He keeps taking stronger and stronger doses.
…
Arielle [to Ismael]: Until I’m totally lost, I’m not in love.
…
Home care provider: Your father has taken a lot of morphine. Too much. If he increases his doeses now, it will kill him. We need to wean him off of it.
Nora: I don’t want him to suffer. In any case, he is doomed.
Home care provider: You can’t say “doomed”. He’s ill but he’s still alive, isn’t he?
Nora: You can’t save him. He’s in pain all the time. And he’s so frightened of dying. What can I do?
Home care provider: You can be his daughter. And hope for a miracle.
Nora: What? There are miracles with bowel cancer?
Home care provider: No, not many. But you can pray very hard for a miracle this time.
Nora: I have to pray?
Home care provider: You don’t have to, but what else can you do?
Nora: What about you, do you pray?
Home care provider: No, not really.
…
Nora [reading a note from her father who has just died]: “My beloved lttle daughter, your egoism has been monstrous. I think it is partly my fault that you have turned out this way. I wish I didn’t love you but, of the two daughters your mother and I had, you were the prettiest. And you needed to seduce me and I needed to be seduced. I was very lonely, your mother was in the hospital and that made it easy for you. I’ve loved you madly all these years. Your sister has cut herself off while you have blossomed. More agressive each day, more insolent, caustic, cold, superficial. Even so, I couldn’t help but cherish you. Now, I feel rage towards you, that I cannot put out, even with my body in tatters. I burn with anger in the face of your evil rebellion. I’m guilty because it was me who urged my little girl to be proud. And I was so fond of your pride. Like curdled milk, your pride has turned into sour vanity. Your pride has become a stupid affection. Today, you’re bursting with bitterness, my child, just like me. You’re my daughter all right. You think your dry laugh conceals your delight? You’re delighted because pride makes you weak but your bitterness gives you formidable power. You were so submissive. Until I discovered your submission hid an iron will and an envy that struck terror into my heart. I fear you, I hate you my little girl. I’m dying. And I find it unfair I should die while you live. If only you had my cancer and were in pain. If only I had the time to forgive you after you die. So I die with rage in my heart. I cannot stand the idea of you surviving me. I wish you would die instead of me.”[/b]
Completely out of the blue…or not? It was to me if not to her.
[b]Ismael [to his father after the most bizarre holdup imaginable]: You have to close this fucking store!!
…
Ismael [to Elias]: This is the only advice I have for now: Of course, we’re always right. But it’s always possible that we could be a bit wrong too. Being a bit wrong is very good news. It means you don’t have the whole answer. That life will be more exciting and full of surprises than you thought.
…
Nora [voiceover]: I watch Elias and Ismael approaching and think life is strange. There are four men I loved. I killed two of them. And that doesn’t mean anything. I feel no remorse. My other two men walk towards me. I know they’ll survive me. That’s all I need to be happy. The cycle of woes is over. [/b]
Though she forgot to add: “For now.”