Cerebral tectonic plates
roughly rub
inside my head,
and thoughts erupt from the flesh.
Magma, my madness,
flows from the volcanoes.
Vying for attention,
my thoughts and feelings
create more little lava mounds.
How do you stop such volcanic activity?
eeewwww…
but for the record, tea tree oil helps…
For the record, I only have about 5 or 6 pimples (and their not zits). But the pimples were frustrating and I thought they were visually interesting–enough so that I could write a poem.
What did you think of the poem? the structure? verb/word choice?
I like the poem, thanks for sharing it. Personally, I think, the effect would be stronger if you drop the last line from the poem: “How do you stop such volcanic activity?” or change it. It disrupts (no pun intended) the feeling you managed to evoke in me (makes me think, rather than feel).
Plus, if I’m to be really critical, where are the thoughts?–those that produce the little lava mounds? I want to see what causes your face to erupt. I want to see some anger, some rage, some “volcanic activity,” not just hear about it. There is madness beneath the surface of this poem, and I want a taste of it.
i do not like the poem- in the way that it doesnt make me feel good- or at least get pleasurable emotions.
however, it completely gives the feeling of having a blemish, and it is very well written, and the rythm compliments it
it is like a very skillful work of art that gives you the bejeebees- same with this: i cannot read your poem without cringing.
well done! 