In secret you arranged it, with one conspirator,
At long last you arrived, rang the bell and nothing.
You waited and rang and rang and waited.
At long last you were given, a very strange greeting.
Dusty and worn you have arrived from your travels.
Now can I begin to feel the ache of your absence
Thinking that I might never again see you,
That held off the pain and kept my mind elsewhere
You float now, as always you were ever meant to
You glide, so completely effortlessly
You have shed all of that old impedimenta
You are light, and light and light and free
I wonder, have you now returned a stranger?
Yet your laugh, just as merry as ever it was
Your eyes, just as bright as a tall prayer candle
Your voice such music as kind as it does.
.
I have moved now and changed from how you once knew me,
Only you have moved too and changed so much
I become a bit more as you wanted me to be then.
Again and again, I am still behind the times.
I am done with regret, and no longer drink it.
I have none of that left to feel about the past.
So very much good has come from your travels
If only a tiny bit of our yesterday remained with you.
Now the night has swallowed a thousand lifetimes.
I am left in ignorance, dangling by a thread
That a spider is weaving in the corner of forever
Falling gentling into a ravenous said.
I’d tell you the truth, but you’d never believe me
You’d wipe away tears with the back of your sleeve
But there aren’t any tears, and there isn’t any time now
What’s over is done and best get to the grave.
Is there a point where one severs the heart ties that bind? To the extent that the heart lies in one place, it may not find another… Sometimes a trip to hell is the only way out of hell. Anomie seems like a fruitless state of suspension.
I don’t know if the connection from heart to heart can be broken. Somtimes it cannot. Somtimes that ol’ connection just has a life of its own. You can stop doing anything that might strengthen that connection. You can work to stop feeding it, letting it weaken to the point where it cannot sustain itself. That might do the trick. Apathy can freeze the heart, making it slow to the point where it looks like it has stopped.
Some connections are more robust than others, and refuse to die without a fight. Some fight back the more you fight against them.
Hearts are connected through your memories of the person. As long as you remember that person there is that connection. However weak that connection may be, it’s there.
Sometime you just cannot let go. Then you have to transform the connection rather than seek to sever it. That has worked for me.
gecota,
Memories, oh I have so many thoughts on memories. I think memories help shape the connection but the connection can exist even though memores fade beyond our reach. Connections can be silent and invisible.
I guess I’m a cold-blooded SOB. No relationship ever goes away, but we can choose to take the emotions, wrap them in a tight small bundle, and tuck them away in an unused corner. Saying no to ourselves isn’t easy and it can be painful, but we cripple ourselves if we can’t move beyond our experiences - the good and the bad.
That is how the living-dead get created. For although buried, these emotions will not and cannot die. They will eventually rise from their graves and wreak havoc. I try to shy away from the creation of such unquiet dead.
You must be with your emotions, especially the unpleasant ones. Your power is presence and that must be shared.
It’s the scrapes and bruises as you go through. Some life lessons have more emotion attached than others. Saying no to our emotional self is difficult - particularly for the romantics.
Well I’m not suggesting that we mindlessly obey our emotions. That would be folly. I’m trying to say that we cannot ignore or outright deny the existence of our emotions. It can hurt more in the short term to be with the emotions, but in the end that gives everyone more peace of mind.
There is a difference between supressing an emotion and putting one away. What belongs to the past belongs to the past, and it is in accepting this that we find peace. It isn’t running away from, it is a running toward? Life is bumps and bruises, but we must let it flow if we’re to find our way.
It seems to me that putting an emotion away is suppressing it, ignoring it, tying it up in a pretty ribbon and saying “I don’t wish to deal with you”.
The past and the present are one. We are who we are today because of who we were in the past. We love who we love today because of who we loved in the past. What is past is not past. It all exists here now in this present.
What I meant was the stronger the memories of the person, the stronger the connection. Your memories are just tied to your connection with that person, it’s not dependant of them. So, of course the connection is always there.
I agree. Strong memories make a strong connection. Memories accompany the connection. I think that idea that the connection is there even without any memories is an uncommon idea, which is why I wanted to highlight it.
Putting an emotion away isn’t suppression, nor is it saying I don’t wish to deal with you. It is saying that in spite of my emotions, I choose to put them aside. The difference may appear subtle, but it is about allowing what is best for both self and other. Often, we would like to give in to our emotions, but that is duality. To make the decision to move on can be painful at first, but if one is looking to the best interest of both parties, letting go may be the best answer.
What is past is present, but is the learning we take from the past - all the good, all the bad, that is the present. Setting aside the emotions of the past is a choice to be made. We are not compelled to by emotion, but heart and mind together.