Possibly the greatest own goal ever scored

It was on the local news tonight - from a game at the weekend




Ahh… great! It took me a second viewing before I noticed the ball bounces off his face.

Thas was absolutely fantastic. Chris Brass is as lucky as a player can be.

Forever in our humourous folklore, Chris !

Hehe, I hope the subject is open for new suggestions. This is quite funny too:


I know, he probably could do that again if he tried a hundred times…

He’s getting a mention in my novel, as is Michael Shields…

Close, but not as hilariously unpredictable. Of course, Brass should have simply put the ball out for a corner, rather than tried a difficult overhead clearance 6 yards from his own goal. You’d never see Nemanja Vidic (my new favourite player) doing that.

Have you ever seen that goal (from a South American league) where one keeper hoofs the ball upfield, the opposing keeper misjudges the bounce and it goes over him and into the net? That’s probably the best outrageous goal I’ve ever seen. I remember a Socrates goal (the Brazilian who smoked cigars, not the Ancient Greek gay sophist) where he just blattered* the ball in a straight line into the top corner from about 40 yards that was astonishing. Also this goal by Clarence Seedorf back when he played for Madrid (he’s the first player to win the European Cup with 3 different clubs, don’tcherknow?)

  • blatter - To prate; to babble; to rail; to make a senseless noise; to patter. [Archaic] ``The rain blattered.‘’

I use the word ‘blattered’ to mean ‘to strike the ball extremely hard’, with reference to Sepp Blatter, the president of Fifa. It was coined by an ITV commentator a few years ago, though I’ve kept it alive. Feel free to use it.

haha, quality stuff

Okay I get it, he scored against his own team with his face!..It was the ‘against his own team’ that wasn’t particularly obvious to a non sports fan like myself, but funny nonetheless when grasped!

On a sadder note the legendary French footballer Zinedine Zidane has decided to hang up his boots after this world cup, citing Real Madrid’s poor results and continued problems with injury as the reasons for his departure. Possibly the most gifted European footballer of all time, Zidane won every award and trophy available and is the most expensive footballer of all time.

news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/footbal … 942564.stm


And possibly his most famous moment, against Bayer Leverkusen (good commentary on this one)

And a couple of slightly longer ones
The second one is better - let down by the soundtrack.

Ack … what a hack … LOL, headers for goal, fine. But not your own net man, wtf? LOL

Zidane has been falling lately, it’s obvious he isn’t what he once was. Still, I concur, it is unfortunate to have one so gifted leave the game. But hey, there’s always Michael Owens … errr … right? Right? LMAO.

Bah, Wayne Rooney is the heir apparent to Zidane’s position as the best player in the world.

video.google.com/videoplay?docid … 2264038975

The last time Zidane, or Bailey did something like that was in France vs Brazil and Brazil vs France. Regarding Rooney in the video, maybe Charlton’s goalie is just an utter looney.

Rooney is the kind of players who use what I costrue as the “tornado” or “typhoon” strategy, relying primarily on the Germanic velocity of their feet rather than the Latin dexterity of their toes. Rooney, on a couple of occasions have impressed me as a field-specialist of such a strategic maneuouver, when in the World Cup he ran one of his shoes tens of yards flying off the court live on international television. He was likely to be improvising on the art of speed and psychologically, maximizing the shock-distract effect. The kid is a rare European talent, that much I’ll say. Let’s hope in a couple of more years or so, he will be perfecting his ball-playing more often than say, his balls-playing.

Rooney has never played in a World Cup. If you meant Euro 2004 - that was 2 years ago, he’s progressed a lot since then. I’ve watched him 20 times this season and while he does use the strategy you so accurately describe he has a lot more to his game than that…

I’ve watched Rooney rooming about no more than 12 times my entire life, pardon me for the confusion between the World and Euro Cup, it mght have been Owen.

Sure, no prob. What did you mean about Charlton’s goalie being a looney?

Rooney sucessfully performing a 180-degree semi-airborne flip-shot against Charlton, is not nearly as worthy as Zidane’s scoring 90-degree quasi-airborne slam-shot against Brazil, for one Lucio literally worthes more than the whole Chalton defence team.

Football has its aethetic appeal to me chiefly in bright teamwork and dazzling individualism. Every mediocre thing inbetween commits my eyes strictly right into the hole on the beer can.

Germanic nations seem to be highly displined and developed in strategic playing though teamwork. The players make crosses one after another, one after another, and one after enother in the consistent style of Beckham, until the ball is finally at the striker who stands waiting in the penalty area, who then runs his shoes off for about three seconds and no more than that, ban, he takes a wide shot in pink. Owen, last time I saw him atually made a pass at defenders was when the defender was the goalie himself. Rooney seems relatively improved on that. If he was shorter he would’ve remind me of Maradona. But that’s a compliment. England is lucky to have such players, whereas say, Poland, seems to me one single robot at any point in time. I don’t have to meet the Polish manager to smell his stink, to know he’s the kind of whiteman who thinks darker people are from another galaxy, and that his adopted formation is pyramaid most of the time.

I enjoy watching Brazil plays much more than watching anyone else. What used to happen as I see it, is that Lucio runs back-forward-back across the field, subtly passes the ball after having dragged the entire enemy team silly, to Ronaldo who then relives the magnificence of Bailey, meandering the ball halfway aross the field and taking the shot right in front of the goalie’s face that is looking stupified after having witnessed his defenders being rammed by like wooden sticks one by one. Bailey himself would have run the ball into the net like a rugby fucking touchdown.


The players walking back no knowing what to do. Football has that adverse affect of making some people look like magicians on the ball and others, well, comical. He’ll never live that one down, especially now its on the internet. The greatest own goal i’ve ever seen was Andy Gorams against Motherwell. It is the height of what an home goal should be, ridiculous, confusing to the players who’ve been floggin’ there guts out for 80minutes, the complete opposite to what should be been done, a lapse of concentration, denial, blaming someone else. Brilliant.

No offence Uniqor but do you know who Rooney is? The goal in the clip is scored by Van Nistelrooy, Rooney is the one making the run from his own half and beating three men before crossing it to Van Nistelrooy. RVN’s role in this goal is essentially straightforward, though neatly done in this case. Rooney creates it through sheer aggression and control of the ball.

It might help if you knew which player was which.

Are you sure about this? You can’t blame them, they’re ex-communist for heaven’s sake…

Ronaldo is a chubby chuffer who has lost the electric talent that he once had. Brazil these days is about watching Kaka and Ronaldinho decimate opposing defences, or at least that’s what I’m looking forward to in this World Cup. That, and Ghana. And Mexico. And England going out in the semi finals on penalties.

Poland actually has a black player in its national team - Olisadebe. As a player, he belongs to Panathinaikos, but he is currently on loan to Portsmouth. So there.

Technically he’s Nigerian, but I knew that there was someone…

Breaking news - Luis Felipe Scolari is the favourite to become the next England manager after reports have emerged of his being offered the job by FA Chief Brian Barwick. I’m sceptical. I like Scolari, don’t get me wrong, but the FA have ballsed this up royally…