I have been involved with several people who are x military. I wonder how many of them suffer from PTS and their symptoms of such. I am married to a x marine who spent four tours in Viet Nam. The conversations are graphic as he often relates stories to me. I let him vent. He does well, more than most of the returns who are still not in contact with real life. My question is of other more minor reflections of the experience. Has anyone a mate who responds like this? Sex. He has to role play to get arroused. He disconnects from me and has to be someone else or make me someone else. Is this a normal side effect of the effects of combat, or am I dealing with somthing I am not aware of?
I have know lots of people that have developed PTSD from a variety of things. Triggers can be from the seemingly mundane to the things that anyone would agreed would be traumatic. Meanwhile, I know people that have had really bad experiences that never get affected at all. It’s really all about how that person’s individual psychology is.
However, if I had to put a bet on it, then I would guess a combat soldier would be more likely to have it than not. You should find out the symptoms and ask him about it.
The sexual role-playing is a different matter though, as I’m not sure if the role-plays are tied into the the trauma (if there is any). What does he want to happen in the scenes?
Stuff like this is mostly just like a little fetish for some people. MOstly harmless I think, but I’m sure that at times it makes you feel unwanted.
Report back.
I’m a long ways from being an expert on this, but I’ve two family members who had to deal with PTS. What I’ve seen of their behavior is a form of ‘compartmentalizing’. One in particular is very good at this. He was a two tour tunnel rat. He won’t talk about what he saw, or what he did, but the boy who went to Nam stayed there. The person who returned was… sort of an actor with almost all the characteristics of the kid I grew up with, but not quite the same. It may be that what you are seeing is something similar. They can’t put who they were before Nam and who they were IN Nam together, so they perform this… schizoid role playing. As a coping mechanism, it seems to work with this family member. He’s been stable, productive, raised a family, all the ‘normal’ things expected. Still, there is something different. Something missing or hidden, and I don’t know if it could, or should be any different. The people who have experienced the horrors of war need to be given a lot of latitude. They have gone places most of us will never experience in our worst nightmares.
JT
One idea is that humans are teleological and always living in a fantasy of the future. This means that people imagine how life should be and live “as if†that’s the way it’s going to happen. Mostly it does happen that way after all. So, our fantasy is confirmed. This is a fantasy about society.
We also have fantasies about our bodies in that we believe them to be tough or divine and so forth. This gives us a feeling of confidence as we go about our business.
Anyway, a trauma can dash the fantasy and make people feel as if they have no solid ground to stand on. A young woman might be walking down the street dressed well, educated, liberal, pretty and confidently headed to work, and then a minority bum pulls her into an old warehouse and repeatedly rapes her. Suddenly all of the things that she believed in are out the window. She is not safe and people are not nice. She can’t stop thinking about it and she is not sure why her whole philosophy of life now seems like a joke.
The soldier is much the same way. He’s a competent athlete and feels that he can handle any situation. He’s a ninja or a superhero, and then he sees his fellow supermen get blown apart. Maybe he sees one of his enemy’s faces look sad or scared before they die. Suddenly, humans aren’t what he thought they were. Society and the people in it are ignorant like he was. His world and the notions about it are turned upside-down. He is left without a philosophy.
Your dad rapes you. That’s not supposed to happen! Why did that happen?!
People like this are stuck as their world view gets proven wrong and they can’t incorporate their new views into a comfortable philosophy.