I like the way the wheels on my cart are squeaking. I am such an attention whore. Hm hm hm hm hm hm didgeridoo.
I caught you staring at my breasts. You know, don’t you? That’s right, look away and regroup. You’re covered in acne, mostly of the cystic variety. I smile to myself as I imagine a volcanic eruption of infectious pus running down your cheeks, your chin.
Uh oh. You think I’m smiling at you. Oh, what the hell? I’ve never been with a redhead. I hold your gaze and shift nervously. You like that. I’m adorable, yes? I would bet you’re blushing under your inflammatory pustules, but I can’t be certain. I tuck my hair behind my ear and motion towards your shirt. The Misfits.
“I like that band, too”, I say.
“Yeah? They’re pretty cool.”
I look to the floor and notice your shoes. Hideously green. You could be my little leprechaun. I think about asking you. I wonder what you would say.
I shift again. Here goes nothing. “Look, I never do this, but would you like to meet me for drinks later tonight?”
“Are you serious?”
Am I? I shouldn’t be. I’ll break your heart, my little leprechaun. But you’re gonna get lucky tonight.
I’ve been reading about the “Reptilian Agenda” recently, and when I saw this bit, it made me wonder if it was talking about human-to-reptile shape-shifting.
I read this, and it instantly remained me of a friend of mine - who’s self-absorbed and conceited - insecure, damaged, needy - emotionally manipulative - gorgeous with a contagious smile which is always lined with tragedy. A spectacular human train reck…incredibly fucked up - She even writes like that…
I think this is quite an accurate rendering of how some people actually are. Accounts such as these, are what still, I think, makes literature a very powerful medium.
And… guess what, she even used silly when flirting with me! Ah yes, and another little devil in prada worked in sweetie so suavely that I nearly fawned. Thankfully, I have read quite a bit of Dumas which has raised my guard of these female “godesses” to, hopefully, a healthy degree.
Thanks for sharing this one. (And thanks for the comment on my piece – duly appreciated.)
