Principles and emapthy/etc. a rant of sorts.

Has anyone ever found themselves wanting to get a certain task done (task X) but they find themselves choking on empathy for other humans, to the point that its actively hard to do?

i tend to have a lot of hardcore principles and beliefs, that I don’t violate for anyone under any circumstances no matter how badly holding such beliefs will effect me for doing so. (holding beliefs even when it’d be personally beneficial to ignore them)

I often-times get to the point where i’m being essentially choked with empathy, when I want to tell someone some-thing in a certain way, when I don’t want to sugar-coat the truth. Don’t get me wrong, my sheer amount of rage in dealing with situations usually overpowers the empathy but its still annoying.

What i’m trying to say is that empathy tries to choke the ambition out of me when it comes to some of the stuff i’m saying, maybe hurting other people’s feelings, but the point is, if i’m saying it at all, they deserve to hear it and should.

Its one of the only emotions that I have a really hard time controlling, despite knowing the evolutionary logic of empathy, its slippery and hard to get a handle on, coming unbidden and surprisingly quick.

What i’m saying is that I hate when empathy attempts to get in the way of maintaining consistant beliefs/integrity.

has anyone found themselves in this position before? Where empathy attempted to propel them into action, that they knew was unacceptable to their over-all beliefs/consistancy ?

Anyway, unbidden empathy towards people that don’t deserve it is an annoyance that I’ll one day hopefully crush.

happen to anyone else?

Yes, I can certainly relate, and it was a burden I carried in social situations for a very long time, and still do to an extent.

But perhaps I’m much more aware of myself now, because over time I’ve come to sense it, observe it, feel and understand it such that I’m becoming more and more capable of learning from it – about myself and human nature at-large – and thus turning what was once a burden into a distinct advantage, perhaps having something to do with perspective.

Empathy can be a source of perspective.

I can relate to your situation.

Empathy prevents me from having any kind of meaningful social life or relationships and that really cuts down on my sexual activity … a lot. :laughing:

Philosophy is my outlet then for saying what I originally intended to say and to do what I originally intended to do.

I’m pretty sure everyone on this forum feels exactly the way you do.

:-"

I’ve always understood that an individual’s philosophy is based on all of that individual’s life experiences, so sexual frustration would certainly be a part of that.

I tend to only show empathy towards those who deserve it: which isn’t many folk out there, but that’s just how it is…

Your empathy and your integrity are both borne out of the same drive, namely self-interest. Your subconscious mind is having trouble defining which route, co-operation or conflict, serves you better in a particular situation. In the end, one will win out. Don’t worry about it.

Why control it? Just roll with it. If you feel empathy, be empathetic. That probably means it’s in your best interest to do so. After all, what’s so great about your integrity? It won’t put food in your stomach. On the other hand, if you feel like digging in, speaking your mind and hurting someone’s feelings, do that.