[size=150]Principles of Fruitionism[/size]
Did you know that the common banana is in danger of becoming extinct? This is due to homogenisation of the gene pool, and the miserable ease of socialist fruit farms. Viruses transmit easier where there is less genetic translation required in order for movement. The true freedom of the pure essencing of fruit is therefore to retain its fruity distinction. For this reason, I hereby propose the following Principles of Fruitionism;
b[/b] Some fruit is different from other fruit.
b[/b] If you stare long into a piece of pineapple, the pineapple also stares into you.
b[/b] No Jewish fruit.
b[/b] No gene spliced or ‘GE’ fruit.
b[/b] All fruit must become political in order to attain to its essence.
b[/b] No welfare for fruit (it’s a fruit eat fruit world, after all…)
b[/b] The meaning of life is to preserve your fruity heritage.
b[/b] If the worth of a person’s philosophy is judged by the success of its implementation, and I am a millionaire, then POR has never spoken a word of truth in his entire life.
b[/b] In the end, nothing really matters. Except Jesus.
b [/b]Jesus is the meaning of fruit.
b[/b] If the meaning of fruit is the preservation of fruit, then Jesus is a bottle of vintage, 0AD bubbly.
b[/b] Pineapples are spiky. I once heard a pineapple defend itself against the temptation of the Devil by quoting biblical verse.
b[/b] Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.
b[/b] The great Noontide is upon us! It is now our season of seasons! That we may reap what we have sown, reap it like nothing has ever been reapen before! REAP!… That is my great hope! My sweet spring morning!.. My tangy, sun-touched Pineapple!…
b[/b] And finally, friends, know this; there is nothing more valuable in life than to hear with the ear of history your memory echoed across the ages, from the greatest darkness to the vastest eternity - drenched in the splashy chill of gorgeous, irresistible, 100% juice. For every piece of fruit which harkens to the call of its true essence will not know death, but will rise up into a boundless glory, and live again in the Great Fruit Salad, a place of inestimable joy and eternal splendor.
Thankyou, and remember, Vote Republican.
[size=117]Pineapple in Season[/size]