Purpose and meaning (not the cliche don't worry)

Philosophy Forums Philosophy
1

:astonished:

how do I start… Ok, I think this forum is full of wise people, or at least, if not wise , people who think by themselves and are not on ‘autopilot’…

so…this is why, now, I trust you all to help me with a very crucial issue I’m facing…

I want to figure ‘myself’ out… I mean, I want to know what is important for me and what is ‘worth it’ in this life, so that I know what actions to focus my strength on…

the questions nagging me right now feel like ‘’ what is really important in this life?, are we to listen to our hearts and fight for what we think it’s fair? or are we to conform if it’s safest?..what is it that moves people? what are the deepest intentions of all, and of mine? because I don’t know them…
sometimes it feels like just an incstinct to survive, some other times it feels like an urge for power and to just overcome, with no other reason besides just doing it, and some other times, it feels like there IS indeed something we are to defend, using the two previous ‘impulses’…‘’

Am I to accept that I won’t ever be certain about the truth I stand for? or should I strive for an absolute? (knowing that such a thing seems irrational).

and not only speaking philosophically… this is a matter of everyday issues…

for instance…should I seek my happyness knowing that on the way of pursuing it I may get many frowns from close people? but know I will be ‘admired’ later and and probably even asked for forgiveness?
or should I take the safe road and shut up, do as I’m told, kill my individuality and opinions, and never get even for somethings I’ve been through…?

I’m extremely close to an event ( a trip to be precise) that might change my whole life… and I have the choice now of either being brave and fighting for myself and my life with everything to gain and a family(which doesn’t seem to care anyways) and a personal history(this hurts the most) to lose, or of taking the safe path and staying close to those people that …I’m not gonna say ‘love’ but care about ( I have my reasons not to love them…in fact, I care about them 10 times more than they do about me I bet)…and to the life and places I’m used to…but living a life that doesn’t satisfy me at all…

it’s true, I will miss my friends and the places, but I can always come back, and that’s what I want to do, go away, heal, and come back with strength…

and I feel that to be true to myself and show ‘them’ I have dignity and pride and know my rights , I must do this…

but something that I can’t pin down haunts me and holds me back…
what is it?..I guess it’s fear of leaving what I know and of being ‘hated’ for taking a decition by myself.

picture someone who has stuff to tell and wants to write a book about that stuff and basically only survives to ‘tell the story’, but fears the ‘consecuences’…

:astonished:

I know this all sounds really misterious…but I need to know, if you think, like I do most of the time, that I have the dutty of being true to myself and defending what I stand for even if it’s the least safe and confortable road I can take.

2

in a nutshell…
how am I to determine what is worth it in this life if I don’t know what or who sets the standard (think god or truth here)…
I know what I want, but I’m not sure it’s the ‘right’ thing, so I want to know what ‘the right thing’ is…

3

this is a very difficult question, and I can tell that you feel very strongly about it. I’m going to try to offer some ideas, but you have to decide this for yourself… that’s the process.

There are multiple standards, there is what you think is important, there is what those around you think is important, there is what society thinks is important, there is what your god thinks as important.

I would recommend that the closer the question lies to you, the more you should rely on your own standard, not on the standards of others. At the end of the day, you have to look yourself in the eye.

You may be wrong either way, you have no way to know from where you stand, so to my mind that isn’t an issue. What should be a prime focus is what seems like the right thing to do for you.

No one can tell you what the ‘right thing’ is, because that’s relative. But, when I hear you talking about “fighting for what’s fair” it seems to me that you can’t go too far wrong if that’s what you’re really striving for.

As for certainty and absolutes, I don’t chase them. For me, they’re phantasms, what you need is a commitment to self reflection and self development, not certainty and absolutes.

If your life doesn’t satisfy you, go out and find one that does. That doesn’t mean you drop everyone over night. It means you change the things you need to get what you need to live a fulfilled and satisfying life, you have a right to that like anyone else.

good luck,
gemty

4

You know what the right thing is. The decision has already been taken.

5

thank you!!! :smiley:

u know what? I just came back from therapy with my mother… it’s the first time we go… we went to a psychiatrist because she wanted to get me medicated with ANYTHING…
and the ‘shrink’ was on my side the whole time and made my mother apologize somewhat, because really I’m being remarkably strong for whta I’m going through, many would’ve killed themselves, but I love life, and I won’t let the fact that I was born to irresponsible evil parents, ruin it for me…

I can’t believe it… the psychiatrist was on my side! I didn’t expect it because they are sually oln the side of the one who ‘pays the bill’ like a mafia, haha, but my problem is so obviously an abusse problem, that he was on my side! he said I MUST travel definitly… (maybe he suspects Iwanna stay there and pitties me) when my parents told him I can’t travel ‘‘like this’’ (in the psychiatrists opinion, the ones who are ‘‘like this’’ are my parents, and I’m remarkably normal for what I’m going through… which I could tell you…but…I will someday…it sucks to tell it right now).