I have a question for any young, hip personage. Or old, hip personage. Anybody, really. Recently, I read a poster - don’t remember who - objecting to being addressed as “dude”. I call any male “dude”, if I can’t remember or don’t know his name, or in the same way I used to call boys “man”. Back in the day. You know, even if I do know the dude’s name, man. I have friends who do this also.
Is this taken by some as offensive? I haven’t noticed this reaction in RL, but maybe I just don’t pay enough attention. Is it generational? Any guidance would be appreciated. Dos and dont’s of duding.
Firstly, I would always share my ganja with you, Bessy. Secondly, I am clearly not one of those people who can get away with calling females “dude”, although there seems to be people who can.
Hmmmm, I have to admit, I really don’t know. Hadn’t thought about it much. Given some of the names I’m called, dude seems pretty inoccuous. I’m guessing that those who are offended by being called dude are likely to be offended by any other than their given name. Some of us are too easy I guess. Occasionally, a customer to my business will write a check for a purchase and ask who to write it to. I tell them they can put any name they want on the check, I’ll answer to any name as long as I get the money. No pride here.
If it is just a substitute for “man” (“man” as in “You know, even if I do know the dude’s name, man.”), then it is no problem for me. However, if someone is “calling me to reason” by beginning a sentence with “Dude, …”, then I despise the fake familiarity and the arrogance therein. “Dudeing” can be a levelling technique.
“Also to the dudes, a noble one standeth in the way: and even when they call him a dude, they want thereby to put him aside.”
[Thus Spake Zaradudestra.]
Oh. This is probably the context in which I recently saw this usage. So, If I said, “Sau, …” - it would be a different effect? Or pretty much the same?
I use “dude” in this very same way. I guess it is leveling, but I mean it as friendly, even if in consternation. Perhaps a function of my generally grumpy personality. As friends, people are on the same level. The level of friends (siatd, dude - Sau brought in the “level” metaphor, not me.) But it can also be seen as presumptuous, I guess. In a real sandbox, kids are friends indifferently. Or enemies. I’m not sure if either are to be taken too seriously.
“Hey Bitch” is a little more offensive to me, but “Hey Bess” makes me feel somewhat loved - I mean like a friend, not like someone’s bitch - well, you know what I mean, right?
Faust, you had mentioned earlier that you will never be the kind of guy who can call a female “dude”–that may be what was offensive. Perhaps the poster was female? That or the possibility that Sauwelios brought up seems most likely.
I could care less what I’m called just as long as it isn’t something obviously derogatory like Bessy said.
I doubt there is a catch all answer to this question but that doesn’t stop us (me) from exploring: I think it depends on how you proceed to dude someone. Are you, for example, noun duding, or is this merely some form of transitional duding?
We can’t overlook timing. Utilizing noun duding creates a stopgap in the responders mind … a Pavlovian conflict if you will; a kind of, ‘did he just dude me?’ response (I believe that’s the leveling effect someone was talking about). In transitional duding, your responders would not know what hit them. In the middle of a sentence/thought you drop the ‘dude’ and you continue to nonchalantly level the poor unsuspecting subject with some deep stuff.
Gauging: If you read someone and they seem a little uptight in their linguist writ, they are probably not worthy of the magnificent ‘dude’ title. Hey, some people just can’t hang.
A poster going by the moniker Mr. Predictable just came to my attention as I was browsing through some threads and I immediately saw ‘guy,’ not dude. He seems anything but predictable (if one only had but time enough).
I’ve never called anyone a “dude,” although everytime I want to call someone a “dud,” my finger accidentally hits the “e” above the last “d”…and there you have it. I’m just to lazy to edit my posts.
