I’m talking about my…personal life. Being raised by per se, polar opposite parentals (A Southern Baptist Conservative mother, and an ex-Mafia Teamster father from White Plains, NY), I’m starting to question whose side I will stand to. See, I’ve got things almost lined up with a girl that is just as nerdy as me, real beautiful, funny, just like me in almost every aspect, but here’s the problem(s):
She is one of my best friend’s sister.
She is said friend’s younger sister.
She is a High School Freshman (I’m only a HS Senior, mind you).
My mother is bi-polar.
She would most likely not approve. (Depending on what day of the week it is.)
And the girl is not as religious as my family is.
Help? Suggestions? I just got out of the shower and I’m letting David Gahan and Martin Gore of Depeche Mode speak some words of wisdom through Violator now. Oh crap, bad decision…This is Mundane Babble right?
Just proceed with care. You are not yet thinking about marrying this girl, only dating her. You are asking questions that might need reflection much later in the relationship, but you don’t need to ask them now. Be honest and kind.
Just start including her and maybe a friend of hers or two in your circle more and more. Show her respect and deference. Your friend will see the two of you together as friends and then perhaps he will prefer you to any other guy for his sister.
It can only help you and your situation. At least you will learn more about her and she you, before you make any heartwrenching commitments. I had two protective older brothers. Only one guy ever passed muster with them and that is how he did it. We remain only friends to this day for all of his and my efforts, at least we are still friends. But that does not have to be your situation , we just realized we were not for each other.
You’re a real sweetheart and a charmer, but like Xunzian said, ummm, you’re wrong. (Did I mention how cool you are? No really … coolest ever)
Take the low road here, go straight for the coitus, out front, tell the brother your plan is bonination, no games, no backstabbing.
All else fails, either invoke the brick, or call a few Sicilian friends and have a Black Bag party for any resilient dissentors … works like a charm, every time.
Oh sure go for the, Hey can I use your sister as meat, plan. Guys, If you wish to truly impress and get further with the girl, get past the hormones and territory. Brothers may say their little sister is a pain,but, they tend to protect them as their own territory.You need to show yourself as her protector too. You are not out to impress the brother as much as you are out to impress the “skirt”. Do it the genteel way, the girl is more impressed and the brother favors you over other studs sniffing at her heels.
I wasn’t even talking about just going for getting laid.
It’s always a delicate balancing act when you want to date someone, and I’ll assume the poster is a romantic and wants to date the girl as opposed to just fuck her.
Go too soft and you’ll enter the friend zone. Women know about this, though many women lie to themselves about this*. What Kris is suggesting is pretty much a one-way ticket to the friend zone. Unless the poster is really good looking and can play the ‘older brother’s hot unattainable friend’ stueck really well. Given that he is posting for advice on this forum, I’ll assume that option is out. If he met those criteria, he wouldn’t need advice.
But, go to hard in this case and you risk alienating the brother. Hence, ask the brother for permission and play it real nice with the lady. It’ll work out in the end.
Errr, actually it won’t, since you’ll be leaving in a year and breaking her heart. Oh, less than a year now. Go for it, still. A short 6-month romance is always good for everyone involved. Sakura!
Like women lie about how they decide what kind of women men get to find attactive. Look at the biographies of super-models – they were all universally shunned for looking like aliens as kids. But now, who are the only women that most men can check-out without their significant other getting on their case? Super-models. Given that option, we’ll oggle the hell out of 'em.
Much healthier to let your man check women out on the street. As long as he is fairly descreet. I think a lot of self-esteem and relationship problems would be solved if this were allowed, it certainly has been the case for me.
Oh God, it’s been far too long since I’ve done that!
Longer still since I was successful at it!
Then again, I just bought a bottle of beer for $24, and I am considering returning it because I think it is corked. Or at the very least the most insipid example of the style I’ve yet to encounter!
So, maybe because I am a dousche-bag I must learn to content myself with my lot in life?
Nah, perhaps what is needed here is a night of the young A-bomb, and Xunzian under the watchful and protective eyes of Mastriani, being set free on civilised humanity for a night of primal rebirth at the expense of the local populace.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no lover of Indianapolis – but, come on, with my social definition of self wouldn’t I be destroying myself too?
And what about that girl with the large feet? Why don’t American women take more effort to make their feet pretty-like? Nobody really got the joke last time I posted it.
Hey ! Friend protector worked on me. I have been married to my friend protector for about 22 yrs now and it just gets better for both of us, (most of the time). Not only does he get the skirt, he gets it when he wants it. Of course he is a CBBAH which is a turn on for me. His actions towards me were designed to protect, be a close friend and excite. Boy did it work. Some day I might tell you boys about his masterful handling of a shower incedent that clinched the deal. I guarantee its not what you are thinking.
I still stick with my advice, it will keep any trouble to a minimum. Unless everyone in that circle is blind or stupid they all will see what is going on anyway. it is called civilized. You two forget the lad has mother issues too. He needs to find out more about the girl and she him before throwing any chance out the door.
He is too young to be worried about his mother right now. Especially since she seems a little off.
There is an old Chinese story about a boy whose cruel parents forbade him from seeing women. Disobeying his parents, the boy spoke to his beloved through a fence near their territory and eventually eloped with this girl.
Supposedly, Mencius commented that the boy had done the right thing. While one should obey and respect one’s parents, if their demands are not properly motivated one is compelled to disregard them and do the right thing.
As for the protector-stueck, it can definately work. But it usually is dependent upon being able to play the ‘Older brother’s friend card’ that I ruled out in my first post. It requires a certain amount of game I do not think the poster has.
His actions towards me were designed to protect, be a close friend and excite. Boy did it work. Some day I might tell you boys about his masterful handling of a shower incedent that clinched the deal. I guarantee its not what you are thinking.