red tea

A poll response is very much appreciated - thanks.

  • like
  • dislike
  • indifferent
0 voters

i want to kiss e.e.cummings on the
lips - hold him round the hips -
dissolve my poem within red tea -
obsess upon every word noone said - six
times over - indulge infinite, infinitesimal
continued fractions - life, under a blue
umbrella - wrap myself with his words -
maybe, weave a coat, an orange coat,
a perhaps of sorts, stretching the galaxy,
with golden moons for buttons - and you
cuddled warm - and me, clinging tightly
to a pastel dream - which, when the threads
snap, and the moons go flying into the Sun,
won’t crumble, for the mere mumble: you
stirring red tea, spirals us back to glee

Love it.

A

neat poem.

(and a gutsy move, adding a poll).

:slight_smile:

Indifferent. This is a poem I cannot feel.

Do you think that all poems must have emotional resonance to be any good? Or can a nice mental trip be enough to make a good/interesting/insightful(?) poem?

i love the parts that don’t rhyme.

I’m sure you do. :sunglasses:

I love this TUM. The beginning and ending are exceptional but I think the middle bit comes undone a little.

I’m not suggesting the middle should be as strong as the beginning or ending – you probably need a subtler filling – but maybe the thread zigs and zags just a little too much? I’m not sure what I would do if it were my poem except I’d replace the “pastel dream” phrase because, for me, it’s too cliché… too pretty… too girly?

Anyway, I love the way you mimic the styles of famous poets – and sometimes reach their lofty peaks. I like this poem better than heaps of stuff e.e. wrote (though it’s not as famously original of course).

underground man, quit knowing my style…its blowing up my spot

this is my attempt at a joke. laughter and merriment. good feelings about, flowers…

thanks guys, girls… Too girly, km? Don’t really know what that means any more… cliche? yea, probably – though it didn’t seem that way when I wrote it.

Hey! me too! oh, and by the way, i was the bastard who voted dislike on the cycle piece – so you insulted it, in beautiful fashion, and then called me a bastard, why km, if I were a senstive person, I just might of been upset! but us poets… trust me when I tell you, true poets want honest feedback and criticism above all else. Heck, Whitman went on editing himself till his deathbed as I’m sure you know. So I really appreciate your being candid.

p.s.

Alex, I try. :sunglasses: and what kind of flowers? you can’t just send invisible flowers, it breaks all sorts of poetic rules.