I am the guy that you didn’t want to piss off on the road…
I am the guy that would get pissed off at your slightest mistake while driving…
I am the guy that would throw cups of coffee at your car because you slowed down to much…
I am the guy who would pretend to be sideswiping you because you dared to cut me off…
I am the guy who would slam on his brakes in order to cause you to panic and do the same…
I am the guy that pissed other people off because I cut them off and I would laugh and give them the finger…
I am the guy that would drive 75 miles per hour down the city streets…
I am the guy racing 120 m.p.h. through California’s highways…
I am the guy who would fantasize about getting into a police car chase and outrunning the cops…
I am the guy who would go onto oncoming traffic to get past the slow car in front…
I am the guy who got shot at because he crossed some gangsters on the highway…
I am the guy that shot back…
I am now a conservative driver. (Conservatives rule!) But today, I accidentally cut some guy off and he did not like it at all… The guy tried to swerve into me to teach me a lesson. I downshifted, sped in front of him, and slammed on my brake pedal. The guy slammed on his brakes and nearly lost control of the car… There were clouds of smoke behind his car. I looked at the fear in his face as I sped away laughing–my left hand flciking the asshole off… I must admit that the old feelings in me were stirred and I wanted to finish the job by ripping that guy’s head off…
What do you think causes road rage?
Have you ever done any of these things?
Have you witnessed any of these things?
Do you think I should receive some sort of traffic fine?
Who was “wrong” in this situation?
What could someone do to prevent this situation from escalating?
If you did that to me I’d beat you to death with your own tire iron.
Incompetent bourgeois consumers who want to pretend they are the guy in the car commercial who is too cool to follow rules and must drive his car fast to get to work so he can pretend like he is working while the computer software does everything for him.
Never. I have driven through mediums and up bridge banks to get away from the madness, but never have I played “back off, asshole, I’m a miserable fuck like yourself and wouldn’t hesitate to make you slam into me so I can fake a hurt neck and get rich off of an insurance settlement” with anyone.
Several times, and I loved it. The only complaint I have is that the people don’t die in the accidents.
Only if it would cause you to blow up the court house when you went to your hearing.
God.
Better budgits would help roadway construction which would eliminate traffic jams, but until the communist revolution occurs, there’s not much you can do to get town hall to pull its head out of its ass.
You mean you would try… before I’d run your ass over with the car and feed your listsless roadkill of a corpse to communists that would endure the worst food poisoning in their lives!
You guys and your nice safe little roads. You don’t have a clue. If I don’t see at least one car upside down and on fire on the way to work in the mornings I think I’ve got the days mixed up and it’s Sunday…
No no, you idiot, it wouldn’t happen like that at all.
See, I’m an exception to the rule. The moment you tapped your brakes in front of me, I’d speed up and ram you hard enough to make you stall. After we got out of the cars, we’d approach each other and I’d say something like “hey, easy there big fella, those tatoos are intimidating.” And you’d say “huh…[scratch your head]…which one?,” as you looked down at your beer belly. The second your eyes turned down…I’d deliver a right hook to your jaw, sending your teeth down your throat. You’d fall over, of course, and then I would jump on you and scream “goddamit, Jim, I’m a doctor not a pool man!!”
Then I’d walk away while some fat lady called the cops on her cell phone.
Detrop, there are a couple of problems with your scenario which make it unlikely… You are dealing with someone whose reflexes are as sharp as a cat and who doesn’t mind murder one bit.
Even if you “sped up” in your jalopy, you would never get close to my sportscar in time to actually hit me… I’ve done this sort of thing a lot, so believe me, you would never hit my car.
Assuming I let you hit my car, I would never wait to listen to anything you say because I don’t stop to consider anything when full of rage. Once I engage I won’t stop until you are twitching like a lizards tail separated from its body. But assuming you somehow managed to hit my car without my letting you do it then I would assume that you are a killer, a shark, and that my only option is to kill first and ask questions later. In which case, you wouldn’t have a prayer–I don’t fight fair. I would fuck you and then walk away leaving your body on the floor as the cum dripping from your ass mixes with a combination of anal leakage and blood… I would take a picture of it and sell it to someone who would make sure to exploit your ass and contribute to capitalism’s continued dominance of the world.
“It was all self-defense officer. This vagrant assaulted me and I am sure he has a criminal record.”
I think road rage happens because there’s this idea in society that we need to get where we’re going now and everyone else needs to get the hell out of our way. Its kid of a super invididualist kick that we’ve been on for a while.
You guys and your nice safe little roads. You don’t have a clue. If I don’t see at least one car upside down and on fire on the way to work in the mornings I think I’ve got the days mixed up and it’s Sunday…