03.15.07.2003
I went poking around and noticed this list on Rotten Tomatoes: “The Worst of the Worst” attempts to cram up 100 of the worst movies ever made in a not-to-shabby list. View it here, starting at 100 with Catwoman (I never saw that movie and I still know it sucked).
So here’s the lowest ten…
10. Half Past Dead (Never heard of it… go figure.)
9. The Master of Disguise (I heard it sucked so much, Dana Carvey will probably never recover his career… he should have stuck to stand-up or pine Mike Myers for a Wayne’s World 3.)
8. Twisted (How could a movie with such talent sink so low?)
7. National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers (I’ve never heard of this one either… probably best that I didn’t.)
6. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (Okay… hold on for a minute. What’s wrong with that title? It’s grammatically incorrect. It should at least say “Superbabies 2: Baby Geniuses”, but it doesn’t. What idiot thought that a sequel should have been made in the first place?)
5. King’s Randsom (I saw the trailer for this and said to myself: “I hope I never see this trailer ever again.” And yet… I did, and it hurt. That’s how much this movie sucks.)
4. Pinocchio (No, it’s not the Disney classic… it’s a live action version with Roberto Benigni. Just the mere mention of his name hints at how bad this movie could be.)
3. Crossover (Sounds stupid… the poster looks stupid too.)
2. Alone in the Dark (When you make a movie based on a video game, it helps to at least show a correlation between the two. I heard this movie failed in that task.)
1. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (I saw parts of this movie once… each scene left me baffled and confused to wonder: “Where are the missing scenes that make up a plot to connect all this mess?” Of course, no such scenes exist, and that’s why I can come to an agreement that this has to be the worst feature-length major movie industry company-made film “yet”.)