Crowe explained his bad temper in his interveiw with Steve Croft on 60 Minutes on Sunday night.
He represents someone who learns copping skills from their family that are basically dysfunctional. Crowe even said that both his mother and brother also have tempers. He mentioned another incident in Australia where he headbutted some actor because that actor called him some “all manner of names” and his arms were being held by some other actors. He said that guy deserved it. (The other incident was the one in NYC where he was arrested for throwing a phone receiver at the desk clerk of a hotel.)
Crowe got his feelings hurt (by this actor) and could not take it like an adult. He became aggressive by headbutting the person who hurt his feelings. If Crowe had a healthy dose of self-esteem he would realize that name-calling is childish behavior and really makes the name-caller look bad not the one being attacked.
Sometimes, we may be in a vulnerable place and may not be able to handle getting our feelings hurt. That is possible. And sometimes you can be honest with yourself and sometimes with others about this. For example, “I can’t beleive that you are attacking now when you know my favorite uncle was just diagnosed with lung cancer.” By responding this way you make that name-caller feel bad about his behavior.
I realize that having the presence of mind to respond like that requires a person being enlightened. But sometimes you can reflect later on why someone calling you a name makes you feel RAGE. So my point is that Crowe could look inside himself and realize that he takes things like being called names so personally because he does need validation from external sources. He is saying that cares how people think about him. (He even said he was unhappy about the box office receipts from Cinderella Man as part of his explanation for attacking the hotel clerk.)
People who work in Hollywood who also have low self esteem, I would think, must have to boost up their ego to survive in an industry that is so much about rejection, personal rejection. "You are not right for the part, you are too handsome, too thin, too fat, to ugly, etc. " You learn to lie to yourself about stuff to survive that kind of rejection. You tell yourself stuff like Crowe said in his interview. He thinks that if he doesn’t lose his temper then he might end up “popping” one day which I think means exploding or something. He thinks it is perfectly acceptable to lose his temper like his does.
Feeling your emotions is one thing, but acting on those emotions by assaulting someone is completely different. And what he doesn’t really get is that how we respond to situations will also influence our mood, our anger; causing a minor upset to escalate into anger, or anger escalating into rage because we feel so insulted by someone else’s actions.
Of course these coping skills that don’t really work do make for funny sitcom material. My favorite example of this is the George Costanenza character on Seinfeld saying “lets not get into a panic.” He says it in a tone of voice that indicates he is already in a panic. Another way people lie to themselves that can be funny.
Growing up when my father got upset about somethingmy brother would usually say to him “don’t get so excited.” My father would always respond in a loud voice saying “I am not getting excited” which of course was obvious to me (even as a child) that he was getting excited. People can be so funny when their emotions are at a fever pitch (except, of course, when they are headbutting you or throwing something at your head).
