What are the goals for my shift today:
To lift world and scour galaxies for the best ideas on how to solve problems before the customer knows the problem exists; to provide a superlative shopping experience; to be a level above any expectations; to be loved by millions.
Why are these goals important?
Because having clearly defined goals puts out quantum waves that will ripple back in the consumerist pond. Intention garners attention; given that fact, it is relatively important to interject the natural flow of thoughts with quantity-over-quality mandates affixed to the locus of communication.
What steps do I need to ensure I am meeting the goals?
Work out; eat right; practice my voice projection; look nice and dress right; espouse the non-controversial; don a hat of compliance; be positive; be productive; just be.
What are the possible obstacles I may encounter in reaching these goals?
Amongst the possibility for semantic landmines; social enemy combatants, poorly placed, and protruding displays, the inimitable glare of the over-privileged western housewife, and the confused aggression of the alpha male, I may be overcome with the irony of a technical ineptitude while standing guard over technology.
How will I overcome these obstacles?
I will battle for my right to provide shopping autonomy; I will read up on proper procedure; I will try to be as nice as possible; I WILL CALL FOR A SUPERVISOR.
What are the benefits in achieving these goals?
An angel gets its wings every time we meet our sales quota. Most men will expect to see increased length and girth. The most vile of streetwalkers are transformed into virgins. When you exchange goods and services to perfection you transcend the physical limitations that define them. Miracles can happen when we achieve our goals. Anything can happen with miracles happen.
What is my commitment level for achieving the goals?
Every fibre of my being burns with desire to sell the right way; the way dictated to us by head office; the way that we feel culminated through thousands of years of evolution. When I find myself standing at the crest of the wave of all materialistic progression that has come before me, there is no question that I am all in. 100%. 110%. And so on, and so forth.
How did I do today?
In an existential sense, I stared into the void and managed to retain my sanity despite the inherent absurdity which stares back into the eyes of every modern wage slave.
