Santa Clause is Jesus

Maybe… Just maybe… Jesus came back already. He talked to all of the retail corporate executives about his second coming and how he didn’t want anyone to know it was him. But the costume they gave him didn’t really hide his features…

Think about it… Beard, red clothing (he’s a hemophiliac), aged white hair, beer belly from partying with dad for 2000 years, can see you when you are sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good, parents pass the story down to their kids from their parents, promises reward for good behavior, if you’ve been bad he gives you a soil specimen of the place you are gonna end up when you die :evilfun: .

It all adds up I’m tellin’ you :laughing: . (cough)

no no no, jesus is different…

santa | sa ta | sa ta n | satan

red suits, places of fire…

"The elves are dressed in leather
And the angels are in chains
(Christmas with the Devil)
The sugar plums are rancid
And the stockings are in flames
(Christmas with the Devil)
There’s a demon in my belly
And a gremlin in my brain
There’s someone up the chimney hole
And Satan is his name

The rats ate all the presents
And the reindeer ran away
(Christmas with the Devil)
There’ll be no Father Christmas
'Cause it’s Evils holiday
(Christmas with the Devil)
No bells in Hell
No snow below-
Silent Night, Violent Night
So come all ye unfaithful
Don’t be left out in the cold
You don’t need no invitation, no…
Your ticket is your soul" -Spinal Tap

“you do tape these shows ahead right?”


I think Jim Morrison was the second coming.

That’d be ironic.